eyes. The wide silver nose of an air booger was five feet from my window and heading straight for me. I barely had time to notice the dazed, helpless eyes of the driver before I dove into a corner of the office, rolling and coming to my feet just in time to duck as the huge vehicle crashed through the window and obliterated the chair I’d been sitting in.
The impetus of the vehicle ripped the wood and brick of the wall around the window away with a shriek and a roar, and sent my furniture flying to smash against the wall beside me.
I covered my face and crouched to minimize myself as a target. But the ceiling started to collapse as the booger blasted through the interior wall of my office and into the hallway. It crumbled down in huge chunks, crashing all around me.
A chunk of plaster hit my arm and shoulder and pain blossomed, bringing me to my knees on the dusty, debris-strewn floor. I sucked in a breath and pulled plaster dust into my lungs. Big mistake. I succumbed to a coughing fit that threatened to take me all the way to the floor. Wheezing, coughing and choking, I tried to stand, my left arm dangling uselessly against my side.
The booger had finally screeched to a stop.
It sat smoking and creaking under a blanket of debris and dust. Still choking and coughing, I shoved my way through the clutter and started dragging debris off the vehicle with one hand. I heard the hiss of escaping gas, smelled the fuel in the air and knew the smallest spark would set it off. I couldn’t take the time to heal my mangled arm.
The booger might blow at any time.
I managed to clear the side viewport and scrubbed at the thick plastic to see inside. The driver still sat bolt upright in the seat, his spiky dark hair matted with blood. Blood ran thickly down the side of his face from a large cut at his hairline.
His pale, skinny fingers clutched the steering mechanism between his knees, the knuckles white. I knew many of the relatively small, inexpensive boogers didn’t have verbal directional capability. The one that had wrecked my office was apparently entirely manual.
The driver appeared to be in some kind of daze.
Verbal commands to open the exit hatch were useless, so I tried yanking on the handle, to no avail. The hatches appeared to be locked down. Pounding on the viewport, I hoped I could rouse the driver long enough to get him to open the hatch so I could pull him out.
The air was now thick with explosive gases. The telltale hiss had grown louder.
After a moment the driver jerked and turned his head slowly toward me. His gaze was too empty for mere shock to be the problem. His dark eyes were cold and blank, like a shark demon’s, with just the tiniest spark of fear underlying the vacancy.
My heart skipped a beat. The poor creature in that booger had been put into a zombie-like fog. Which could only mean one thing.
A large shadow slid across the viewport and I gasped, jumping backward in horrified realization.
A roar split the silence beyond my ruined office wall.
My terrified gaze slid toward the sound, just in time to see the massive green dragon open its huge maw and send a thick column of flame in my direction.
The fire hit the gas-filled air and exploded.
Impossible, melting heat crashed into me, the air crackling and rolling around me with a life of its own. Pain seared my body. My mouth opened in a silent scream as my skin started to melt away. Lost in a bubble of pain so intense I couldn’t breathe, I smelled my flesh and hair burning.
The world around me was nothing but fire, heat and flame. When I drew another breath to scream, I pulled fire directly into my lungs, searing away flesh and gristle and driving me to the ground in unending agony.
I realized I was dying and my mind formed around my only regret. Dialle!
I wondered if I would be heading North or South.
In that big sports event of the afterlife, would I be playing for the white team or the red? I wanted to believe that I’d be wearing