Read Death by Pantyhose for Free Online Page B

ignore the
stares following in my wake.
    Andrew stood up to greet me, looking yummy in a pinstripe suit, his hair curling seductively
over his collar, just as I remembered it.
     
    "That was quite an entrance," he said, barely
suppressing a smile. "Did you know your butt
looks really big climbing out of an exterminator's van?"
    Okay, he didn't really say the part about my
butt. I just prayed he wasn't thinking it.
    I plopped down in my chair and explained
what happened to Wheezy.
    "What rotten luck," he said when I was
through. "But don't worry. We'll call a tow service after lunch and take care of everything."
    He smiled a reassuring smile.
    I just love men with reassuring smiles, don't
you?
    "Anyhow," he said, "I hope you like this
restaurant. "
    "Oh, I do."
    "If not, there's a Roach Motel nearby."
    Okay, he didn't say that, either. My imagination was in overdrive.
    What he actually said was: "I'm sorry I
dragged you all the way downtown, but I've
been working night and day on a project. With
Sam Weinstock. You remember Sam don't you?"
    Inwardly I groaned. I remembered Sam, all
right. Sam-short for Samantha-Weinstock
was the CFO of Andrew's bank, a stunning woman
with the face of a Clinique model and a waist the
size of my ankle. When I'd met her last year, I
was sure she and Andrew were a hot item.
    Just the thought of her made me feel ten
pounds heavier.
    "Actually," Andrew said, "she's here in the
restaurant, having lunch with a friend."
     
    Drat. The last thing I wanted was to be in
comparison range with the spectacular size two
Sam.
    "In fact, she's right over there."
    I followed his gaze to where Sam was sitting
across from another razor-thin bizgal. If I'd
been harboring any secret hopes that working
long hours had taken its toll on Sam, I was in for
a disappointment. She was as spectacular as
ever, her delicate face framed by a gleaming
crown of chestnut hair, not a single one of
which dared stray out of place.
    Andrew waved to her, and the next thing I
knew she was getting up and heading in our direction. I hoped against hope that she was
going to the ladies room, but no such luck. She
slithered straight to our table.
    "Hello, Jaine," she said coolly.
    "Hi," I managed to mutter.
    I just prayed she hadn't seen me show up in
the giant bugmobile.
    Once again, my prayers went unanswered.
    "So good to see you again," she said, a malicious glint in her eyes. "What a colorful entrance you made."
    "Yes, my Rolls is in the shop. Haha."
    Andrew smiled at my feeble attempt at
humor. Sam didn't.
    "How've you been?" she asked. "Still writing
toilet bowl ads?"
    "As a matter of fact, I am," I said, wishing with
all my heart I could flush her down a Big John.
    "Well, don't be too long," she said to Andrew,
wagging her finger at him playfully. "We've still
got lots of work to do, hon."
    Accent on the hon.
     
    Then she waved good-bye, an irritating little
flicker of her hand, and slithered back to her
bizgal friend.
    As I watched her walk across the room, resplendent in her size two suit, I felt every ounce
of confidence drain from my body. I'd been a
fool to think Andrew was interested in me. Anyone who'd dated a woman like Sam couldn't
possibly be interested in me.
    This wasn't a date, I realized. It was a business
lunch. Andrew probably wanted to offer me a
job writing brochures for the bank. My initial instincts had been right. If he were really interested in me, he'd have asked me out to a candlelit
dinner.
    "So," Andrew said, "you're still working for Toiletmasters."
    What did I tell you? He was asking me about
work. It had to be a business lunch.
    "Yes, I'm still in the toilet. Haha. And how
about you? You still at the bank? What am I saying? Of course you're still at the bank. Otherwise why would you be working on a project
with Sam? Unless you were working in some
other profession and freelancing as a banker. I
suppose that's possible. Not likely, of course.
But possible