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to a place that I had experienced on my own first and then go with you….awkward.
    Scared me off? Ha, not possible, Soldier Boy. I’m in this for the long haul. I’ve already gone overboard on my sappy emotions with you. If you haven’t given up, then I’ve got to do my best to keep you, as there isn’t any other person on this planet who'd  have me and all my wacky thoughts.
    Ooh, I like the idea of giving you a direct order. I’ll keep that in mind for later. ;)
    Wow, I had no idea it gets that cold and awful in Kabul. Yes, I checked my weather app, but like I said, I knew you would be able to give me something that the weather app couldn’t. Well, there are lots of things you could give me that the weather app can’t. ;) Haha! I can’t help myself. I’m really not infatuated with the idea of sex and you. Well, maybe I am; who knows? I guess I’m the only one with that answer. Haha!
    That’s so sweet of you to make the warmers. Who does that with you? What are their names? Soldier Boy, describe them to me.
    Argh…my Christmas was a disaster. I know I shouldn’t say that, given how you probably spent yours. But I want to be honest with you. It was horrible. The worst Christmas of my life. And no, I’m not exaggerating. It really was.
    So, on December 23 rd , my boss came into my office and told me that everyone needed to go home and visit their families. Given all the heat and fire (the fan issue I had mentioned before),  we needed to take advantage of the fact that we could be with our families when so many could not. I didn’t want to seem like a cold-hearted woman and not go, and I couldn’t lie about it. So I did it. I drove home, and it was so bad, Matthew, it hurts to even say. Everything was terrible, from the moment I walked into my parents’ house, until the moment I left on Christmas day. Yes, I drove home on Christmas day in a snow storm, no less. Not because I had to rush to get back—my boss gave us time off until the 27 th —but because I had to get out. I couldn’t breathe in my parents’ house. It was awful not seeing Tommy. Every inch of the home is filled with memories of him. And being there on Christmas brought it all to light, the reality of it. Tommy is gone. Really gone. Not on some secret tour or hiding out. He didn’t go AWOL. He is dead. And it sucks so bad. I cried more tears than I thought could fall from my eyes. And after all my tears had fallen, and I finally felt like I might be able to make it through the rest of my visit, I was sitting at the dinner table with my mom and step dad, and he looked over at me and shook his head.
    The disappointment and disgust in his eyes were more than I thought possible from one person, but there it was. He blames me. I thought he might, but seeing him and his look confirmed it. So, I excused myself from the table, and I left. I haven’t talked to either of them since. I’m not sure if my mom feels the same way, but she definitely didn’t try to console me or stop me from leaving. Not that she should; I get it. But there you have it, my bad Christmas.
    I probably should delete all of that, but I won’t. It’s probably best you know.
    I’m sorry. I know I said I was going to try and be more sunshine (and now I know you do need sunshine because of the temperature) and flowers, but that is how I spent my Christmas. I didn’t even get to dessert.
    After I made my way home, I was done feeling sorry for myself, and since I had no letters from you (insert trying to make you feel guilty emoticon even though the lack of letters was obviously not because you were able to, but I did miss hearing from you a lot). Anyway, back to sunshine and flowers.  I downloaded this book about pecan pie. In fact, well, it was a romance.  It was fun and it got me out of my “funk”.
    And on to my New Years...by the way, how did you spend yours? Hopefully, not kissing anyone. After my boss gave us Christmas off, he must have decided that was a little