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from the staircase.
    “Jeez!” Mindy said to Nadine. “If I was passed out on the kitchen floor, my kids would step over me to get to the fridge.
    But the second I pick up the phone . . . What is it?” she hollered.
    Ricky rushed into her bedroom, cheeks f lushed with news.
    “Emma fell. She’s crying.”
    “Oh my God, Nadine, I gotta go . . . If I suddenly disappear, check Beth’s trunk.”
    Mindy flew downstairs to find Stacie, Jamie, Jessica, and Ricky all huddled around Emma, who was crumpled in a ball at the bottom of the staircase. She was holding her ankle and sobbing. “It hurts. I want my mommy.”
    “What happened?” Mindy demanded.
    The elder statesmen, Stacie and Jessica, started talking at the same time. “We were just playing hide-and-seek.”
    “Ricky was it and Emma couldn’t find a good place to hide.”
    “She musta tripped on something running away.”
    “I can’t feel my fooooot. . . .”
    Mindy looked around. The staircase was beginning to resemble a mini landfill right down to the falling debris. But clutter had never been an issue the Shermans spent much time debating. Beth’s kids, on the other hand, lived in a hospital-clean house. The first time she and Artie got the grand tour, she whispered, “What? No velvet ropes?”
    Now as Mindy looked down at a tear-faced Emma, she wondered about the rumor that Beth used to glue coasters to her Dear Neighbor, Drop Dead
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    baby bottles. Unfortunately, she would have to ponder that when she wasn’t dealing with a medical emergency.
    “Mommy and Daddy just went to visit the car at the body shop, honey. They’ll be back soon. Can I take a look?”
    Mindy was no doctor, but it didn’t take four years of med school to diagnose swelling. Although the injury appeared minor, this was no garden-variety kid. A Beth Diamond offspring was someone who was taught to call boo-boos abrasions. Lord knows what a simple sprain would be called. Probably a million-dollar lawsuit.
    “Emma, I think what we have here is a twisted ankle. I know it hurts, but you’re going to be fine.” I , on the other hand , will be leaving town momentarily .
    “Should I get some ice?” Stacie piped in.
    “Excellent idea. And some Tylenol, too.”
    “But she vomits from Tylenol,” Jessica cried.
    “I know, sweetie. It’s for me.”
    Finally, Emma’s loud wails tapered off and she could talk. “I just want to go home!”
    “Okay, but first I think we’ll let Dr. Kornfeld have a look at you.”
    By the time they returned from Mindy’s second trip to the pediatrician’s office that day, Emma was enjoying the attention and the neon ice pack strapped to her ankle. She had, in fact, suffered a slight sprain. She’d be good as new as soon as the swelling sub-sided.
    The kids wanted to make a human stretcher for her, but Mindy teased that they shouldn’t get carried away. At ten years old, long-legged Emma was already so tall, she had no trouble putting her arm around Mindy’s neck and hopping.
    Pity that just as they reached the front door, the Diamonds 34
    Saralee Rosenberg
    returned from the body shop. Richard hadn’t even put his Range Rover in park when Beth ran to Emma.
    “Oh my God!” She pushed Mindy aside. “What did you do to my little girl?”
    With all the excitement, Mindy hadn’t prepared a speech. The kids were better rehearsed as they’d already told the story in the doctor’s waiting room. They all started explaining at once.
    “Just stop!” Beth stammered. “Look at me, Mindy! I’m a wreck.
    My face is a wreck. My car is a wreck. . . . And what is the source of all my pain? You! But silly me. I leave two healthy children in your possession for maybe what? An hour? Sure enough, I come home to find that my daughter has been maimed!”
    “She’s fine. Honest. We just got back from Dr. Kornfeld’s. She took a little spill on the steps and twisted her ankle. That’s all.”
    “That’s all?” Beth echoed. “You don’t think it’s a