Read Dear Meredith for Free Online

but my smiles, knowing I would have time enough and left over to break down after.
                "Right before he closed his eyes for the last time, he smiled at me and whispered, so faintly that I could barely hear him, 'Live, Meredith. Live and laugh again. I love you'. Even then, Laney, he was thinking about me first," I tell her wistfully, recalling that moment as though I am watching it from a third person's perspective.
                Laney sighs, a little eloquent sound of pain and sadness. "I'm so sorry, Mer, that I wasn't here for you. He was a good man," she says again. "One of the best."
                I nod. I don't have to tell her about the hazy weeks of blind grief that followed the funeral, how I stumbled along, somehow scraping by and surviving. Laney knows.
                Then I remember her earlier question. "Laney, Mike gave me Bandit."
                She cocks her head quizzically. I go and retrieve the now well-creased letter from my bag, and hand it to her silently. She is the only person I could ever trust to read something so personal and so precious to me.
                When she looks up, her eyes are filled with wonderment as well as tears.
                "This is beautiful, Mer. I can't believe Mike wrote three letters for you, and to give you Bandit as your first surprise! Oh, I'm so glad this little pup was here for you," she says, gripping my hands tightly, while we both look down at Bandit, who has fallen asleep by our feet.
                "Yes, I think she saved my life," I say seriously. "Oh, Laney, I'm so selfishly glad that you're back."
                She snorts undaintily. "I'd have been back way sooner if you had told me what happened. No matter," she says, holding up a hand as she sees I'm about to interject, "that's over and done with. But from now on, no secrets. Promise me."
                "I promise," I say, after a long pause. "No secrets from you."
                I feel almost light-headed after this huge release of emotion, more of the bitter poison within me purged. Laney heads to her huge backpack, fishes around and pulls out a bottle of Laphroaig.
                "I think we both need a drink," she announces, her long fingers dancing expertly as she has two glasses filled with the smoky amber liquid in dazzling time. 
                To my surprise, I am looking forward to it.
                "To Mike, one of the bravest and best of men. A perfect husband and wonderful friend," she says, and we pour the shot down our throats.
                My eyes water slightly, though this time, an entirely welcome occurrence. "To Laney, Janet and Bandit, my family."
                Laney lifts her glass again after refilling it for the third time in as many minutes. "And to you, my darling. To a survivor, who is going to get back on her feet, kick ass and show the world who's boss."
                As I feel the whisky burn down my throat and set a fire in my stomach, I think of Mike and how he would have grinned approvingly at this moment.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

Chapter 5
     
                The second letter comes while Laney and I are giving Bandit a bath. It's the weekend and we've made plans to go to a movie tonight and indulge in some sushi.
                To my surprise, that Lab absolutely hates baths and will stand stiffly throughout the whole process with her ears back and tail tucked her legs.
                We have to lift up her paws in turn for them to be washed and she struggles to balance on the remaining three, all the time putting on such a woebegone expression that it sends us into giggling fits.
                "It's as though she's saying, 'What did I do to deserve this treatment, humans?'" Janet wheezes out between her peals of