Read Dear Meredith for Free Online Page A

laughter.
                I shake my head in bewilderment. "I thought Labs love water!"
                Besides this strange dread of bathtime, however, Bandit is shaping up to be the perfect companion for a grieving widow. I've had her for almost three months now, and she is growing up to be a really sturdy and dependable character. Most importantly, she's such a happy dog. As Laney puts it, "Bandit looks at a cat and wants to adopt it as her new best friend . "
                I've started sleeping through the night now, though my dreams come as often as ever. When they do, I wake up with the image of Mike waving at me from afar. Sometimes, my pillow is wet with tears I cry when I'm asleep.
                Most days, I get through just fine. I visit his grave two, sometimes three times a week. It's so beautiful and peaceful there, and the wildflowers have begun growing. But some days, it's bad, when I see a particular thing in the house that reminds me of him, and it feels just as though I've slid back to the first day without him in my life anymore. That's when my heart beats wildly as I sob, feeling loneliness swamp me like a tidal wave.
                But bit by bit, I can sense the bleeding hole in my heart slowly healing, reknitting as I learn to laugh again a little more each day. Laney's return has gone a long way towards helping me go on, that I'm sure. With her, I have no need to try and put on a mask of courage, as I do when well-meaning neighbours and friends ask me how I'm getting along without Mike.
                Laney sees me for who I am, and asks nothing from me beyond what I can give.
                After we have bathed Bandit, I leave her in the yard so she can dry herself on a patch of sunlit grass. It's the only part of the ordeal she enjoys, along with the biscuit she gets as a reward.
                Bandit gives a whole new meaning to the term 'sun worshipper'. I don't think I've ever seen any other dog who literally goes comatoseunder the sun, soaking it up blissfully while the heat goes to her head and makes her sleepy.
                "Come on, let's go grab some food. I'm starving, " Laney says.
                As we're heading out, with Laney in the lead, I suddenly hear her let out a gasp.
                "Oh my God, Meredith," she says, and something in her voice makes me hurry forward.
                Then I see it - the same heavy cream envelope with my name scrawled across it. My heart gives a great lurch of happiness while a flood of curiousity fills me.
                "Who on earth is leaving the letters?" I puzzle aloud as I pick it up, while Laney frowns thoughtfully. "Whoever it is, I don't see this need for such secrecy, unless Mike told him or her to hide, but I don't see the point for that," she muses.
                She brightens. "Well, let's see what Mike has to say!"
                I laugh, teasing her, even though I myself can barely contain my excitement. "I thought you had to have food this very instant."
                "Oh never mind that, let's have a look at the letter first," she says. Suddenly, a hint of embarassment flushes her face. "Ah, shucks. Look at me trying to tell you what to do! God, I'm sorry, Mer. Tell you what, you wait for me here and read the letter, I'm going to go get some takeout for us. There's still loads of time left till the movie starts."
                Ignoring my protestations, she ushers me back into the house and sits me down on the couch, before closing the door firmly behind her.
                I smile. She's a really good friend, Laney is. And I can't lie, I do want Mike's letter all to myself, at least for the first time. I gently trace my name on the envelope - it's thicker this time -  and I open it and pull the pages out.
               
                Dear