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am jesting.*  7 You just keep sending out your resume, and eventually, if you are persistent, you will receive a call from a top corporate executive—a person in a position to give you the job of your dreams—telling you that he or she will call the police if you don’t stop sending your resume.
    But don’t let that stop you! Keep at it, and eventually some executive will want to talk to you, if only to find out if you have any more naked photos of Angelina Jolie. This means it’s time for step three:
    3. Prepare for Your Job Interview
    Up to this point, you’re just a name on a piece of paper. The interview is your chance to show your prospective employers that you are a real person, with real armpits gushing rivers of real sweat.
    You have good reason to be nervous: The impression you make in your interview is absolutely crucial. You must appear confident without being cocky, relaxed without being indifferent, and tall without being short.
    Your appearance is extremely important. Avoid common fashion “no-nos” such as showing up for an interview with twigs in your hair or a large albino python around your neck. Cover any visible tattoos with bandages or spray paint. Above all, make sure you are “dressed for success”—which means your clothing must look serious and professional.

    Dressing for Success in the Job Interview

    SOURCE: Calvin Klein
    Photography Credits

    But your appearance alone will not get you the job. You must show your interviewers that you will be a “good fit” in the culture of the specific corporation. Look for subtle ways to let your interviewers know that you have things in common with them, such as: “Nice to meet you! I, too, am a white person!” (Note: Depending on the interviewers, you should substitute “African-American,” “Hispanic,” “Native American,” “person of some kind of Asiatic extraction,” or “carbon-based life-form.”)
    It’s also very important to demonstrate that you have a good sense of humor, as we see by the following verbatim transcript of an actual interview with a top New York investment banking firm:

    INTERVIEWER: I see by your resume that you are proficient in both WURP and FREEMIS. Can you tell us about that?
    YOU: Certainly. But first . . . ROO ROO!
    INTERVIEWER: Ha ha! I love that joke! You are hired right on the spot.*  8

    Be alert during the interview for “trap questions.” These are questions that an interviewer asks to trick you into saying something negative about yourself.
    Examples of “Trap Questions”
    WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOUR LAST JOB?
    Good Answer: I felt that I had accomplished all I could and was looking for a more challenging environment where I could make an effective contribution.
    Bad Answer: The arson investigation was getting too close.
    HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO CRITICISM FROM SUPERIORS?
    Good Answer: I view it as a chance to improve myself by learning from those with more wisdom and experience.
    Bad Answer: If they’re so superior, how come they can’t figure out who killed their dog?
    WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS YOUR BIGGEST WEAKNESS?
    Good Answer: Sometimes I get so involved in my job that I tend to neglect my personal life.
    Bad Answer: Heroin.
    DESCRIBE A JOB-RELATED SITUATION THAT, IN RETRO-SPECT, YOU WISH YOU HAD HANDLED DIFFERENTLY.
    Good Answer: Late one Friday night, in an effort to make sure I had reviewed every possible detail on a project that was important to my superiors, I fell asleep at my desk, which was unprofessional. I should have simply taken the project home and worked on it over the weekend.
    Bad Answer: There was really no need to shoot that second bank guard.

    Make sure to get the names of all the people you talk to, so that after your interview you can keep yourself fresh in their minds by writing them follow-up letters, phoning them, e-mailing them, and visiting them at home on weekends to remark on what a nice dog they have. Don’t give up! Remember: In any large organization, the person