Read Dating Down for Free Online

cups.
    X: sm For my favorite new friend.
    He gives one to April.
    X: sm And my favorite female ever.
    He leans in
    sm smells my skin
    tells me I’m a sexier picture
    than anything some French Post-Impressionist could paint.
    My heart pounds
    sm palms sweat
    thoughts race,
    so I drink up.
    Burns going down
    lightens me up
    I relax.
    X wraps his arms around me and we
    move in and out of the crowd.
    Quickly, I’m feeling fantastic
    like Gauguin greatness
    a million-dollar mural.
    X chats with guys, girls,
    high-fives something into their hands.
    Everyone knows him
    happy to see him
    and because I’m with him,
    happy to see me too.
    I’m not a high school girl
    crashing this party.
    I’m the girlfriend of X and
    I’m livin’ the life.

The Bathroom
    Drinking, drinking, I’m so thirsty!
    Now I have to pee.
    Waiting for the single bathroom,
    I lean against the wall to see.
    Blurry, dizzy, I’m so silly
    knocking photos down.
    A crash.
    We laugh.
    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
    I fumble with the frame to hang it,
    but oh so many nails.
    Which one is the real one?
    Which ones are the spinning ones?
    I take the photo to the bathroom,
    sit upon the pot.
    An image of a little girl
    holding her daddy’s arm.
    This must be a girl that lived here
    before she threw these fetes.
    She was just a little girl
    who held her daddy’s hand.
    I close my eyes and think about this
    until I get the spins.
    Next, I vomit in the toilet
    Oops!
    the alcohol wins.
    I set the frame upon the sink
    and leave to find my friends.
    Bye-bye little girl so sweet.
    Bye-bye daddy holding her hand.

With Gavin
    4:30 in the morning
    sneaking into Gavin’s house
    we shush each other quietly.
    Gavin shushes me
    sm I shush April
    April shushes the door handle.

    We tiptoe through the living room
    down the stairs
    to the basement,
    Gavin’s bedroom.
    By shushing we become noisy.
    Luckily, Gavin’s parents are heavy sleepers.
    Me: sm Happy Birthday.
    Lying in the room
    in a borrowed
    T-shirt and sleeping bag,
    I whisper to Gavin.
    April’s already asleep
    snoring,
    her black eyeliner smudged around her eyes.
    I roll over, about to go to sleep when
    my friend whispers
    almost inaudible
    very faintly
    super quietly,
    Gavin: sm I like him.
    Does he want me to hear?
    or not?
    I close my eyes and dream of red plastic cups
    stacked to the sky
    forming
    something big .

Freewheeling
    On the last day of classes X pulls
    into the high school parking lot
    on a Vespa.
    Everyone checks us out.
    Even Ted mutters something
    to one of his jock-head friends
    over his shoulder
    under his breath
    behind my back
    as I walk by.
    I pretend not to hear him.
    It’s been over between us for ages.
    Well, in high school time, that is.
    Me: sm Nice wheels.
    When did he buy a Vespa?
    X: sm Just borrowing it.
    And, off we go,
    racing through the streets of Chicago
    wind flying through the pieces of hair
    wiggling out from under my helmet.
    I think fast
    fun
    crazy
    lawless
    thoughts
    as X speeds in and out of lanes
    gliding
    onto Lake Shore Drive.

    X: sm You ready for this?
    I wrap my arms tighter around his waist, kiss his neck.
    This means Yes .

Yes
    Wherever we’re about to go
    whatever we’re about to do,
    Yes .
    Up Ashland Avenue
    down West Webster
    over a bridge,
    Yes .
    X signals with his arm because his blinker is broken.
    In flux.
    He takes off his helmet
    pulls a latch
    opens a square lid perfectly hidden within the bridge.
    He jumps down
    holds out his hand and
    I follow him into the alcove.
    Closing the lid—there we are—under the bridge
    floating above the Chicago river.
    Hidden away in our private Paris along the Seine,
    Oui .
    I gasp.
    Before I can ask, X covers my lips with his fingers,
    kisses me hard sm wet sm intense
    causing a dizzy sm warm sm swirl
    in my head.
    Something big is on its way …
    His hands run underneath my shirt,
    unclasp my bra.
    My hands move through his hair
    and I