Read Dating Down for Free Online Page A

pull
    close
    closer
    closest
    to him yet.

Sex
    My bra
    my shirt
    the late-May air.
    His hands
    my body
    the canvas of me.
    The shivers
    the glances
    does he like what he sees?
    He smiles a leaky smile
    and I wonder—
    Am I like the wafting desire in his roommate’s lyric?
    Am I still his cutie ?
    Am I ready for what’s to come?
    Just then—a banging—people
    walking over the bridge
    over our heads
    totally unaware that we’re
    under here
    nestled in our own little built-in cubbyhole.
    X: sm It’s a secret maintenance area.
    He touches me.
    X: sm The city never locks the latch, so we have to be quiet.
    sm It’s public breaking private breaking totally sexy
    and that’s when I know
    all these things I probably shouldn’t be doing
    I am going to do
    because he is the one
    who knows about these things
    painting the town
    footloose and fancy free
    livin’ the life.
    He pulls out a condom
    sm kissing me
    rubbing against me
    unzipping my pants
    and what we do next
    sm is one of the many things
    I’ve been waiting to learn.
    I follow his lead and
    together we
    crash
    back and forth
    bodies bumping slowly.
    His kisses consume me, making me hot
    warmed from the inside out.
    A flame
    sm sparking
    igniting
    growing
    blazing
    sm thundering
    shattering
    all that’s within me.
    I feel closer to him than any other human.
    His breath,
    hot like lava
    along my cheek.
    X: sm God, I love you.
    And then I melt just as he
    shivers into me.
    When we put our clothes back on and pop out of
    our cubbyhole
    the Vespa’s being towed.
    X watches it go.
    That’s when I learn
    the vehicle
    wasn’t borrowed.
    It was registered as
    stolen.

Undone
    light
    f.light
    flit
    flo.at
    I open my wounds
    and fin.d
    they’re healing
    sealing my love
    to h.is
    feeling his body
    on mine
    reveal.ing the us
    in.side
    the more I un.do
    my life
    t.he more it reveals
    to me
    undo
    un.done
    under
    hi.m

Arrivals …
    Summer begins like this—
    floating under bridges
    kissing in coffee shops
    napping in X’s arms
    eating grilled cheese at Leo’s Lunchroom
    attending packed parties in abandoned lofts
    arriving in the latest set of wheels
    Where does he get them?
    meeting his friends, acquaintances, and strangers.
    Everyone knows X
    loves X
    high-fives and peace signs X.
    He’s a celebrity in his circle
    and I’m his girl.
    I’ve arrived.
    Although I’m way behind
    on my painting deadline for RISD,
    I’m way ahead on my life.
    Missy
    graduates from being a stray
    that Jane and Dad will “think about keeping,”
    to our cat, living in the house full time.
    Melanie
    mommies her, dresses Missy like a doll,
    teaches her how to shake hands.
    Me: sm The cat’s not a dog.
    Melanie: sm Shake, Missy.
    Missy puts her paw in my hand.
    We shake.
    And that’s how summer arrives.

… and Departures
    Finals come and go
    school lets out
    no more passing Ted in the hall
    pretending not to know each other
    won’t have to see him with
    some dumb sophomore.
    Good riddance.
    George departs for L.A.
    to spend the summer with his father.
    His newly divorced parents live on
    separate sides of the country
    leaving Gavin also separated
    and on the sad side.
    Gavin: sm How will I live without him?
    Me: sm It’s just a few months.
    Gavin: sm Might as well be forever.
    Me: sm True. I wouldn’t want to leave sunny Los Angeles.
    Gavin: sm YOU’RE NOT MAKING ME HAPPY!
    Me: sm Sorry.
    Gavin’s take is something straight out of Casablanca :
    George sm walks toward plane.
    Gavin sm in summer’s new J. Crew seersucker jacket,
    begs George.
    But what about me? What about us?
    Tries not to cry.
    Opens man-purse, grabs tissue.
    Tries not to cry.
    George sm asks Gavin to be reasonable.
    We’ll always have senior year.
    Kisses him goodbye.
    Gavin sm pleads with George not to abandon him.
    You get on that plane, leave me, and we’re through!
    Tries not to