too broken to be used. “Those are your kids in there.”
“And right now, they’re better off without me,” he says, his voice a pained, empty shell.
“That’s not true!”
“It is true! I can’t do this, Willow. I can’t walk around pretending that I am not suffering.”
“I have tried to help,” I say, blinking through the blurry haze covering my vision. “I have sat here trying to help you, but you won’t talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to fucking talk about! What do you want from me? Did you really think I could just come back from that and be completely ok? I killed my own father, Willow. How the fuck do you expect me to be ok with that? How do you expect me to make it go away? Tell me, god dammit, tell me how to make it go away because I’m out of ideas. The only thing I have left, is to walk away. I can’t be here. I can’t do this to you. I can’t let my kids see me like this. I can’t destroy them.”
“We were ok,” I cry. “You came back and we were ok. How did it change so quickly?”
“I was still on a high, I was free, I was ok. It was there, it just didn’t come out. I can’t keep pretending this is ok. You can’t either. You know I have to do this.”
“Don’t leave me,” I plead, dropping to my knees. “Jagger, please. I love you.”
He looks down at me, tears are thundering down his face. “I know you do, that’s why I’m leaving. I’m sorry, Willow, I have to go. Sometimes, the best option for those you used to love, is to walk away. That’s what I’m doing. You’ll thank me for it, one day…you will see I did this for you and the kids.”
Used to love? A strangled scream escapes my throat and I grip my hair, heaving as pain fills my body. Jagger grips his phone and keys, and then he pulls on a shirt. I’m on the ground. I can’t seem to make my body move. I’m almost completely broken. I manage to lift my head and watch him walk to the door. He turns to me just before he steps out, his eyes are pained, his soul broken.
“Jagger, please…”
“Goodbye Willow.”
Then he’s gone. I hear my own agonized screams as I register the front door closing and the sound of his truck starting up outside. I grip my hair, heaving and sobbing. He’s gone. He left me? He doesn’t love me anymore. He feels nothing. I sit on the ground, trying to process everything that happened, but I just can’t seem to get one image from my mind. Jagger crying. His face as he walked away, he must care. He wouldn’t have been crying if he didn’t feel. I have to fix this; I have to find a way. Oh god this can’t be it - it can’t be. I get to my feet, desperately. I make sure I’m fully covered with whatever clothes I can find, then I rush out the door.
I run down the hall, so fast I nearly trip a few times. I charge out the front door, and his truck is just pulling out of the drive. I run towards him, and his eyes widen as I get closer. He doesn’t stop. He keeps reversing, his eyes never moving from mine. He’s still crying. I’m still screaming. I stretch my hand out, like a pathetic, desperate woman. “Jagger,” I scream. “Please, don’t do this. Don’t leave me. God, please. I need you. I love you. Don’t go.”
He actually heaves and I can see that he’s panting. He shakes his head painfully and begins driving off. I scream his name, but he doesn’t stop. I am half way down the driveway, and that’s where I fall to my knees. I ugly cry so loudly the neighbors come out of their houses. I see the flash of car lights, then I hear someone calling my name. I look up, heaving and sobbing, so see the guys and Ava standing and staring down at me. Their faces are empty, broken, but most of all…they’re hurt for me.
“He left me,” I scream. “Oh god, no…please…don’t let him go.”
“Fuck,” Ace rasps, dropping to his knees in front of me.
“He’s gone,” I wail.
“Honey, shhhhh.”
Ava.
I feel arms around me, I feel myself being lifted,