but I’m beyond caring. The pain I feel right now, is indescribable, it’s making me physically sick. When I get inside, I spend the next ten minutes throwing up the vodka I drank. I can hear the faint voices of everyone around me, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. I’m still sobbing, I sound like a wounded animal. Ava is beside me, stroking my hair, soothing me with words I can’t even make out. When I finally drag myself from the bathroom, I see all the guys standing in the kitchen. They’re with me. They’re all here…with me. Who is with Jagger?
“Go to him,” I rasp. “Someone, please, go to him.”
Rusty steps forward. “I’ll go.”
Ace nods at him, and I watch him leave. Then I turn back to the guys. My family. They are supporting me, even though their loyalty is with Jagger. They’re…here…with…me? That has me sobbing again. Ace sighs and walks over, wrapping his arm around me and pressing me into his side. Ava grips my face, swiping my tears away.
“You’re going to get through this, we’re going to find a way.”
“He left me,” I choke out.
“He’s not thinking, we’ll come up with a way to fix this. I promise you, Willow, I promise.”
She looks over at Angel, and he gives her a weak smile.
“Come on, we’re going to put you to bed.”
“I don’t want to go in there!” I cry.
Ace turns me, leading me towards the couch instead. “You need to rest, kid.”
“He left me, Ace,” I whisper, hanging my head.
“We’ll fix this, just like Ava said. I swear to you, Willow.”
He lays me down on the couch, and gives me a weak kiss on the head before letting Ava take over again. She strokes my hair until I fall into an exhausted sleep.
He left me. He really left me.
~*~*~*~
JAGGER
I don’t feel anything. I cried. I smashed apart my old apartment, but now…no matter how hard I try, I can’t make myself go back. I don’t even want to. I’m so numb. I don’t understand it anymore. I walked away from everything I have fought for. It’s better for them, I know that. Why doesn’t it hurt? I feel absolutely nothing. For a brief moment, when she was on her knees in the driveway, my heart hurt, but then like a wave, this numbness washed over me and I drove away. Just like that. Leaving my wife screaming my name on her knees.
What the fuck has happened to me?
I shoot back another shot of whiskey and let the burn fill my body, making me just a whole lot number.
“Boss?”
Fuck it. Rusty.
“Fuck off, Rusty.”
“Let me in.”
“No.”
A few swift kicks later, my door swings open. Piece of shit door. Rusty walks in, looks at the bottle of whiskey in my hand and then around my trashed apartment and sighs.
“What is wrong with you?” he barks, walking over and shoving my chest. “You should have fuckin’ seen her. She’s devastated. That’s your wife, your kids, you piece of shit.”
“I know,” I say simply.
“You don’t even care, do you? Does it not bother you at all that your wife is crying for you right now?”
“She’s better off.”
“Are you fucking serious?” he growls, shoving my chest again.
“Stop shoving me, Rusty,” I snap, glaring at him.
“Hit me then, you want me to stop, hit me.”
“No.”
“You’re really fucked up, aren’t you?”
“This is how I am now, you lot need to deal with it.”
“Are you serious?” he says, eyes wide and horrified.
“Yeah, I’m fuckin’ serious, now if you don’t mind…I am drinking. Alone.”
“Is there anything in there, anything at all?” he says, shaking his head.
“No, now get out.”
Closing his eyes a moment, then opening them, he turns and walks to the door. When he gets to it, he turns and looks back at me.
“Then you don’t fuckin’ deserve her.”
Then he’s gone. I stare at the door a moment, then I turn and fall onto the couch, bringing the bottle to my lips once more.
~*~*~*~*
WILLOW
All night I have thought about what to do. All