addictions—until now.
He closed the door and engaged the lock. If he was going to face his sponsor, he wanted to do it alone. He dialed Tyler’s number. After two rings, Tyler answered.
“Sean.”
“Hi, Tyler.” He wasn’t sure what to think. They’d been friends, but the last time they’d talked, things had gotten messy.
“How are you? What’s wrong? You only call when there’s a crisis. Have you started drinking? Or is it the coke again?”
“It’s a guy.”
“Oh.”
“I-I need advice.” Admitting the truth hurt like hell.
“You really want me to advise you? I’m still kind of waiting for you to come back to California. We were good together.”
He’d never forgotten why Tyler had been a horrible sponsor. They’d fallen into bed within four weeks of meeting. Sure, Tyler had kept Sean from drugs and mostly off the bottle, but he’d used Sean’s other great vice against him—sex.
“So, what’s the deal?” Tyler asked.
Sean needed to patch things over with his sponsor before he could deal with his current issues. “You know we’d never work. Not for long term. You need stability. My career doesn’t allow me a nine-to-five work week. I’m stable, but on my own terms.”
“Then do a sitcom. Something that takes place in California,” Tyler pleaded. “If you were here, we’d find a way to work out.”
“I’ve done sitcoms, and I’m done with them.” Besides, most of the producers didn’t trust him. He either left because of his addictions, or the shows barely lasted four seasons. When the show didn’t last, he ended up catching hell.
“Can’t blame a guy for trying. We were good together,” Tyler said.
“For that time.” Sean had no ill will against Tyler. When they’d been a couple, he’d figured out how to get clean. Unfortunately, he shouldn’t have been in a relationship with his sponsor.
“Do you remember why we didn’t work out?” Sean asked.
“Yeah, we slept together.”
“Sex ruined us?”
“We forgot our roles. That’s what screwed us up. I let down my guard and fell for you. You…you were the suave jackass from all your movies. Oil and water never mixes, no matter how hard we tried,” Tyler said.
“My attitude fucked you over?” Nothing made sense. Well, hardly none of it. He’d been a true jackass when he’d been using. He’d allowed the chemicals and booze to rule his life.
“Your attitude was horrible. If you come home, we can sort this out,” Tyler pleaded. “Come on. You know we can.”
“You know we can’t.”
“Then that’s it. There’s another guy. Who is he?”
“Do I suspect jealousy?” Sean asked. He could lie, but why bother? “Yeah. Kind of. My attitude and personality shoved him away with both hands.”
“Then why are you calling me? To soothe your conscience? For forgiveness?”
“I’m looking for a pattern,” Sean said. “I barely know Jonathan, but I swear we’ve got chemistry. I know, I know…you don’t want to hear that. I’m trying to figure out what’s pushing him away—my attitude or the real me.”
“Be yourself. Stop complicating shit by being the actor. I’ll bet you do have chemistry. You’re a charismatic guy, but give him a chance to find out if the chemistry is there with the real Sean.”
“That’s what I’m worried about. The real me might be the asshole.” Sean sat down hard on the bed. He bounced and rested his elbows on his knees.
“Then that’s the gamble you’ve got to take. I’ve always got a place for you if things fall apart.”
“You have too much faith in me,” Sean said.
“I’ve been told that,” Tyler said. “Did I help you at all?”
“Yeah. You did.” Sean wasn’t happy with what he had to do. He’d been helped all right, but he’d have to break himself to show Jonathan the real man. What a load of shit. Still, he’d do it. He tossed his cell phone onto the dresser then shrugged out of his shirt. He stripped down to his boxers and flopped