time Jack had a strong feeling as if his nose was about to explode, so he gave up, exhausted.
Jack had never been clever, but three things were clear to him. Firstly, Miss Broom
was
a witch. Secondly, as he couldn’t tell anyone, he couldn’t get anyone to help him.
And thirdly, unless he used what few brains he had really carefully he was going to end up in deep, deep trouble.
The next morning Class Six gathered in the bright cold of the playground. Most of the children looked as if they hadn’t got much sleep, but Anil seemed rather pleased
with himself.
‘I bet my brother five pounds I could do any times sum he gave me in my head within five seconds,’ he said.
Jack’s mouth fell open.
‘Brilliant,’ he breathed. ‘Hey, I can’t wait to try that on my dad!’
Anil shook his head.
‘Nah,’ he said. ‘Look, no offence, Jack, right, but you’re quite stupid, aren’t you?’
‘Yeah,’ agreed Jack. ‘So what?’
‘So, no-one will believe you can do difficult sums in your head in a million years,’ Anil said. ‘You should ask for more a lot more than a fiver. Ask for twenty!’
Jack’s eyes bulged.
‘
Twenty pounds?
’
‘Yeah. Stands to reason.’
Serise narrowed her eyes calculatingly. ‘I think I might ask my mum for a horse.’
‘But…you don’t like horses,’ said Winsome.
‘Hmm, that’s true,’ admitted Serise. ‘Perhaps a pair of over-the-knee boots, then. Or a new jacket. Or…’
Slacker ambled up munching a cake.
‘My big sister told me to be careful with Miss Broom,’ he said. ‘So I’ve decided the best thing is to maintain a low profile.’
Anil looked up at the mountain that was Slacker Punchkin.
‘Well, that’s not going to be very easy,’ he said. ‘You’ve got a profile like Mount Everest. And that’s when you’re lying down.’
Winsome looked at her watch. ‘Rodney’s not here yet.’
Jack went to the gate and looked both ways along the road. ‘There’s no sign of him.’
Emily turned pale.
‘Perhaps he’s got worse,’ she said. ‘Perhaps they’ve taken him to hospital!’
‘Perhaps he’s scratched his head so much that his skin’s worn through and he’s got blood trickling all down his face,’ said Jack.
‘Ew!’ said Serise.
Emily’s face went even paler.
‘Perhaps he’s dead,’ she whispered.
But Anil shook his head. ‘There can’t be anything much wrong with him,’ he said. ‘I mean, look over there at those mums. They’re just talking to each other about
quite boring things, aren’t they? If Rodney had anything serious they’d be yacking and yacking and yacking.’
‘That’s true,’ said Slacker Punchkin. ‘Whenever anyone drops dead my gran can’t wait to tell everyone about it.’ Slacker put on a cracked old-lady voice:
‘“
Have you heard Clint Gherkin’s died?
” She always knows all about it even if it’s someone in another country that no-one’s ever heard of.’
Emily gave a long shaken sigh of relief.
‘That’s true,’ she said. ‘But then, where
is
Rodney?’
They all thought about it.
‘Wherever he is, he’s missing school,’ said Jack, with a trace of envy.
‘I bet he’s gone to the doctor and got some banana medicine,’ said Slacker, envious too.
And then the bell went and they all trooped in to class.
‘Now all of you stand up, please, Class Six,’ said Miss Broom, after she’d called the register. ‘Good. Now I want everyone to touch their right ear with
their left hand. No, their
right
ear, Jack. That’s it. Now everyone try to touch the ceiling! Stretch! Excellent. And now let’s try running on the spot. Come along!
Left-right-left!’
Class Six ran until they felt woken up. Then they ran until they felt full of beans. At the front Miss Broom was running too, her little plump legs in her brown stockings pumping up and down so
fast that all you could see was a blur.
‘Jolly good!’ she cried. ‘Faster!’
Class Six ran until they were scarlet