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doesn’t really mean to hurt me. I’ve talked to him about it. I don’t know what it is, but he has some kind of issue. He can’t control himself sometimes.”
    “There are no excuses. If you mar ry him, it will only get worse.”
    “It’s just sex, Helen! He’s been nothing but supportive and openhearted in other ways. In every other way.”
    “Carmen, I can’t believe what you’re saying. You can’t do this. ” I am losing my temper and trying to be calm, but I find myself grabbing her shoulders. “Did you know that in a lot of countries, it’s legal to rape your wife? Even here, it’s only been taken seriously in recent history. Traditionally, wives are supposed to be submissive to their husband, and that attitude is still a huge part of our culture. You can’t agree to a life with someone who doesn’t respect you.”
    “He respects me,” Carmen insists. Her body trembles under my hands as though she is silently crying. “I swear to you, Helen. He respects me.”
    “Are you insane?” I shake my head in disbelief. “You’re throwing away your freedom and the sanctity of your body. You’re subjugating yourself to abuse! And you’re defending him?”
    “ Yes, I’m defending him!” Carmen says sharply. “Believe it or not, I’ve had worse boyfriends. I’ve dated guys who tried to interfere with my school or my career. I dated guys that were jerks to Dad. I dated guys who were emotionally abusive and got drunk on an almost nightly basis, and said the cruelest things to me. I dated guys who drove recklessly and got into several accidents with me in the vehicle. I dated guys with drug problems who tried to get me addicted and waste our days away being high. Yes, I’m sad and pathetic. But Grayson is the best guy I’ve ever met. He’s the best guy I’ve ever been with, even with his flaws. And I’m marrying him!”
    “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I ask her in shock. “He just threatened to kill you if I told you what I know about him.”
    “He doesn’t mean it,” Carmen says tearfully. “Trust me, he’s just using scare tactics—he really doesn’t mean it, and he would never hurt me.”
    “You just told me he raped you.”
    “Yes, but... it’s not complete rape. I want to have sex with him most of the time. Look, it’s just a super small issue, Hellie. It’s my fault too. If I had just been in the mood...”
    “Oh my god,” I say in disbelief and horror. “Who are you? What the fuck are you even saying right now? I thought my big sister was strong and brave. I thought she didn’t take crap from anyone.”
    “I’ve changed since we lost Mom,” Carmen tells me. “Now... I’d rather take a little crap from people than be completely alone forever.”
    “I won’t let you,” I tell her firmly. “You won’t be alone, but you can’t marry him. He’s an animal. You deserve better!”
    Carmen sighs. “I’m too tired, Helen. I’m too old to meet someone new and get to know him all over again. I’ve been with Grayson for a long time, and we are good together. I don’t want to start all over again with someone else who could be even worse once I discover who he really is —it takes years to really figure a person out.”
    “You haven’t even figured Grayson out!” I accuse her. “You don’ t even know how foul he is. Let me tell you what he did. Maybe if you know that you’re not the only one he’s hurt, you’ll understand and take action.”
    “Helen,” she says brokenly. “Don’t.”
    “Do you remember when I came home with all those bruises? When I said I was mugged?”
    “No!” Carmen almost shouts at me. Her words are laced with small, heart-wrenching sobs. “Please. Stop. I can’t know this. Don’t say another word. I’m fucked, Helen. I’m so fucked.”
    “You need to hear this,” I insist. “He’s the one who...”
    “Helen, I’m three months p regnant.”
    The words get caught in my throat. I find myself rendered