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speechless.
    “Whatever he’s done?” Carmen whispers. “I can’t know. He’s the father of my baby. I can’t... I can’t back out of this now. I need him. I want my baby to grow up with a good father, like we did.”
    My hands fall to my side, quite limp and robbed of their fire. I lower my head.
    “I need to sit down,” Carmen says as she moves over to a chair in the corner of the library. She takes several deep breaths. “So now you know. I think it’s why I’ve been so hormonal,” she says with a small, miserable laugh. “It’s why I’ve been crying so easily. Oh, and of course, it’s why I was throwing up earlier. Why I had Tylenol instead of Advil, and no champagne while getting ready...”
    “Is it also why you’ve lost your mind?” I ask her quietly.
    “Yes,” she answers. “I know that Grayson will be a good father. I don’t care if he hurts me sometimes. That’s the price I’m willing to pay to have the security of a good man and a strong family. As long as he takes care of my baby, nothing else matters.”
    I close my eyes, trying to un -see the horrible images in my mind. In this moment, I see too much. I vividly remember calling Dr. Howard to get me the morning-after pill when this happened to me. She tried to get me to file a police report and do a rape kit, but I just wanted to put the attack behind me. Now, I wish I had. If only I had known that my rapist wouldn’t stop there, and that he would take things even further and hurt my sister? Or any other woman?
    I was being selfish. I just wanted to run away to save myself, when I should have stayed to fight. This is all my fault. And now, this man has raped my sister into fathering my niece or nephew. He’s trapped her. Emotionally, financially, and probably in dozens of ways I can’t begin to guess, he’s made her his prisoner.
    “What if he hurts your child?” I ask her softly. “What if it’s a girl, and when she’s a teenager...”
    “No. Don’t even say that,” Carmen tells me. “He wouldn’t—”
    Music starts playing from the ballroom where the wedding is being held. It’s the mu sic meant to announce Carmen’s entrance into the room.
    “Oh god,” she says quietly , leaping up from her chair. “Oh god. How’s my makeup? Shit, you can’t even see my makeup. Oh god.”
    “You r makeup is the least of your worries,” I tell her dryly.
    “Look, Helen. I’ve made my choice. Maybe it’s a bad choice, but I can’t change my mind now. It’s too late. I’m in too deep.” She sniffles and wipes her face. “I have to go now. I love him, and I know he’ll be a good father. I just want to present a good image to everyone else. I want to seem strong and happy to all our family and friends. Who cares if I have some private issues that bother me behind closed doors? Everyone has skeletons in their closets. I’m going to head inside now.”
    “Can you think about this for a moment?” I implore her. “Carmen, I just want you to be safe. You’re my big sister. I want you to be happy for real. Not just put on a show for everyone. Years of faking it and silently suffering will destroy you. It will suck the life out of you, and you’ll be dead inside.”
    “I will be fine,” she assures me, putting a hand on my arm. “Don’t worry about me. Besides, I can live vicariously through you —at least you have Liam! He seems like a great guy who would never...”
    “Ha! I just met him yesterday.”
    “What?”
    “He’ s a stranger,” I admit shamefully. “Sorry, Carm. He’s just my doctor. I asked him to pretend for me.”
    “Oh.” Her voice is empty and disappointed. “ Well, then we’re both fucked.”
    “Yeah,” I agree.
    “I guess... I’m going to go get married now,” she says quietly. “Are you going to come stand beside me at the altar?”
    “No.” There is zero hesitation in my voice. “I don’t support your decision. I can’t be part of this celebration.” My face contorts into a