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down. “Lucy.”
    There was no trace of hate in his tone… not even indifference. His acknowledgment conveyed that he was neutral. What did that mean?
    “I was hoping we could take you out to eat ,” Chad butted in, breaking our contact.
    The moment his eyes left me, I felt bereft, as though the light had been taken from me. Maybe it had. It was only switched back on when he was around, sadly.
    “I already had a light snack.” Toby made a small smile. “Thanks for dropping by , though.”
    Chad smirked before walking around to check his surroundings. “Oh , well. You know, Blake’s flat in Mayfair is a little boring. Do you mind if I stay here for a little bit? I like to bug you once in awhile.”
    Toby shrugged and then walked away, heading towards what seemed to be the kitchen. “Sure. Whatever you like.”
    He ’d always had a soft spot for Chad. Additionally, even if he knew what was behind Chad’s motives, he wasn’t crass enough to push him away. Toby always considered other people’s feelings, especially the ones of those he cared about.
    “Yipee,” Chad giddily said as he pulled out his phone. “Let me tell Rob -Rob that I’ll be chilling at your pad. Give me a sec.” He strode out of the kitchen as he dialed Robert’s number.
    Toby was pouring himself a glass of Malbec amidst the black and stainless steel kitchen. He was taking his time , trying to avoid me. As much as I liked to pretend that I wasn’t waiting for him to make small talk, I couldn’t help following my gaze with whatever he did. The man simply consumed me. It was troubling.
    “Fancy having a glass?” he murmured as he watched himself pour the ruby red contents into a glass, filling it halfway.
    “Sure,” I managed to say smoothly.
    He causally pushed his ready-filled glass towards the other end of the counter before stepp ing back and taking out another glass for himself.
    Why wasn’t he looking at me? I wondered as I cautiously stepped towards the chair, sitting my guilty arse on the stool. Instead of taking a careful sip, I inserted the glass stem in between my fingers and slowly swirled it around, eyeing the crimson contents, as I argued with myself that I should be the one to break the ice.
    Guilt and broken heart aside, I had once been his friend, and even though he might not need me as one, I should make it known that I was there if he needed me.
    Clearing my throat, I swallowed whatever pride I had left and took the plunge. “I’m sorry about your marriage.”
    Those entrancing eyes immediately snapped to me, surprised. “ You’re sorry? ” he asked as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
    I nodded as I parted my mouth to breathe. With his eyes on me like that, I fe lt like he was cooking me inside out from their simmering heat. “I am—I hadn’t meant to—”
    “What didn’t you mean, Lucy?” he threw back.
    Everything. Fuck. God. Oh , fuck. If only I could turn back time, I sure would change how I had handled things…
    “I’m sorry.” For hurting you. For betraying your trust. For always screwing up things for you. For everything… I was truly sorry.
    My words seemed to have angered him. He certainly tried to hide behind it, but his eyes only told me the truth. That I was a coward. That I wasn’t worthy of him.
    Pressing my lips together, I stared at the glass as I slid off the stool. I had no ounce of power left in me to look at him. “I have to go.” I was ashamed beyond words as I walked away, passed Chad in the hallway, moving towards the foyer.
    “ Lucy! ” he growled after me as I held onto the doorknob.
    I had a few seconds pause before I went out the door with my heart thumping wildly against my chest. I was running and I didn’t stop until a block away, heaving as I bent over with my hands on my knees, needing to breathe. Courage, I lacked it greatly, but I couldn’t fathom staring back into his hurt-filled eyes, knowing how guilty I was.
    Miserable, I slowly walked aimlessly