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even
that
important.”
    “But do you know
how
to sell it?” I ask. “Once we’ve got the thing made?”
    Matt stares at me. “Sean, why are you encouraging him? We killed this idea Saturday night.”
    “Yeah, well, my situation has drastically changed since Saturday. I need a whole load of cash, and I need it PDQ.” I look back over at Coop. “How long do you think a movie would take to film? And don’t say more than four months.”
    Coop sits up and rides no-handed. “Depends on how fast we can raise the chedda to fund it. Once we’ve got the greenage, it’ll be cake. We just come up with a basic idea — demon possession, coven of warlocks, vampire cats, whatever — dash off a script, and then roll camera. That’s how all these cheap-ass horror films are done. It’ll take a week. Two at the most.”
    “Okay, I’m in,” I say. “When can we start?”
    “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Matt’s shaking his head like he’s being attacked by hornets. “What’s going on here, Sean? Why do you need money all of a sudden?”
    I feel my shoulders tense up. I was hoping I could hold off telling them, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter. They’re going to find out eventually.
    I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
    “My mother’s having a baby,” I say.
    “Is it your dad’s?” Coop asks.
    I scowl at him. “Yes, it’s my dad’s, doink.”
    “I wasn’t asking about your dad’s doink. And just so you know, if it isn’t his baby, then it wasn’t his doink that was involved.”
    “It
is
his baby, you nerf herder. Why would you even ask that?”
    “I don’t know. You said you needed money. I thought maybe your dad took off when he found out your mom got preggers by some other dude.”
    “Well, you thought wrong. It’s
both
my parents’ baby.”
    I hop the curb to take the shortcut through Snyder’s Field, pedaling fast to try and put some distance between me and my so-called friends.
    “Hey, Sean,” Coop says when he and Matt catch up to me. “You do realize that this means your mom and dad are still grinding the guinea pigs, right?”
    “Yeah, thanks for that. I wasn’t traumatized enough the first time it occurred to me.” My wheel skids out on a patch of snow but I keep my balance and ride on.
    “No offense.” Matt stifles a laugh. “But your mom and dad are like the
last
people I want to think about doing the nasty.”
    “So let’s
not
think about it,” I snap.
    “I know, but you kind of have to, right?” Coop says. “I mean, you’re mom’s got the bun in the oven as proof positive they’re doing the grumble rumble.”
    “I’m serious, dude,” I warn.
    “Oh, come on,” Coop cajoles. “Tell me you’re not wondering how they do it. I bet it’s not missionary. Because your dad’s got that bloated physics-teacher belly going on. Which would just get in the way. Unless he’s got, like, a blue whale schlong.”
    “Can you stop?” I say. “We’re talking about how we’re going to film this movie.”
    “Actually,” Matt corrects, “we’re talking about your parents having sex. Which is infinitely more interesting.”
    “It’s not like we get off on it, Sean,” Coop reassures me. “It’s more of a let’s-go-look-at-the-bearded-lady type thing.”
    “Or flipping through
Ripley’s Believe It or Not!
” Matt adds.
    Coop reaches over and swats my arm. “Be honest now. You can’t tell us you’re not just a little bit curious?”
    “Yes, I can. I
can
tell you that.” My voice flutters as we ride over the uneven frozen dirt of the field that backs this lane of houses. “I
am
telling you. I’m not the least bit curious.”
    “Oh, I just had a thought.” Coop waggles his eyebrows. “What if your parents are into doing really freaky stuff? Like the Rhode Island Rabbit’s Foot. Or the Delaware Deep Dish.”
    “Or the North Dakota Meat Balloon.” Matt sputters with laughter.
    “Enough,” I say, covering one ear with one hand because I can’t ride