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stupidity into my words, but wasn't sure it worked until I
felt Alec's arms tighten, almost painfully around me. I gasped, and
he set me down so quickly I almost fell over.
    Before I'd even regained my balance, he was
walking away, moving so quickly I would've needed to run to keep
up. Even so, he hadn't turned away quick enough to hide the
complete disdain in his expression.
    I suddenly found myself wishing I'd told him
the truth rather than making him think I was stupid and
manipulative.
    It was too late. He was already out of sight,
and by now his opinion of me was fixed.
    Chapter 4
    School hadn't gotten any worse after I'd
convinced the hottest boy on the planet that I was a complete waste
of oxygen, but it hadn't gotten any better either. Mrs. Tiggs, my
Spanish teacher, had seemed every bit as mean as my Biology teacher
from earlier in the day, and it had been a relief when Britney had
finally dropped me off at home.
    I watched Britney's little white Saturn
disappear down the lane with a complex set of feelings that
included a bit of loneliness and more than a little relief. After a
minute or two spent staring off into space, I finally decided the
discomfort in my stomach was sharp enough to justify the effort of
eating.
    Given the ridiculous heat, studying was the
last thing I really wanted to do, but there wasn't really anything
else to do so I changed into cooler clothes and made the best of
it. Three hours later my brain felt like it was going to run out of
my nose, so I wandered upstairs.
    It was still too hot for comfort in my room,
but unpacking in the heat was better than facing the math problems
waiting for me downstairs. We'd partially unpacked things to get my
bedspread out, so everything else went pretty quickly. My room
wasn't particularly large, but someone had put a long shelf around
the top of the room, and the closet had more storage space than my
room back home. My meager belongings quickly found new homes.
    I looked one last time at the box holding my
clothes, and then sighed and shoved it under the bed. My unpacking
was all done, which meant I had to go back to my homework. At least
now I could listen to my music while I studied.
    Fifteen minutes later I was safely ensconced
in my room listening to the London Cast version of Les Misérables
as I tried to work through my backlog of Algebra assignments. When
I finally surfaced from orders of operation as the sun started
setting, I was pleasantly surprised things had gone so well. As
masochistic as it sounded, I actually enjoyed settling down with a
set of academic problems, and working my way through them.
Sometimes it almost seemed like I entered a Zen-like state where
everything else in the world just dropped away. It was nice to know
the accident hadn't changed that at least.
    My heart stuttered a little, but I wrenched
my thoughts away from where they'd been headed, distracting myself
by wondering where mom was. She'd been a little flighty before, but
now it wasn't uncommon for her to be gone for twenty-four hours at
a stretch. In some ways it was hard not having her around, but in
other ways it was a relief. Sometimes she reminded me too much of
dad and Cindi.
    A surge of guilt splashed around inside me at
the thought, but it was a realization I'd made weeks ago. By now
some of the sharper edges to the emotion had worn away. I shrugged,
dropping my book and binder on the floor next to my bed. Dwelling
on the guilt would just make me think about why I felt guilty in
the first place. I'd find myself on the floor with no memory of how
I'd gotten there.
    By the time I'd brushed my teeth and finished
the rest of my nightly ritual, my mind was wholly in the present,
and I was starting to get a little depressed. I'd never
particularly fit in back home, but there'd been enough other people
in various fringe groups that I'd always felt like I had somewhere
to go if I ever wanted more friends. I would've had to play a role
to a certain extent, which is why