Read Broken: Book 1 of the Scars and Sorrow Saga for Free Online Page A

I’m fine.”
    “Good, can I kiss you again?”
    I nod my head yes and he continues his previous movements, the burning of fire between my legs comes back stronger than before. I’m not supposed to feel this way, am I? What is this? What is this ache anyway?
    He pulls my tank top down and exposes the white lace of my bra. Thank God he didn’t yank my top up and see my belly. It’s bad enough that he felt it. I know that he did. His hands gently squeeze my imperfect breasts and our eyes meet. He frees my breast and takes it into his mouth. Memories flood my mind and cloud my enjoyment. Davis will always have me, like he said. I will always be his. I am ruined for any other.
    I blink back tears and try to embrace the moment, being loved (or so I thought) by a star football player that never treated me badly before. His hands make their way up my thighs and before I have time to realize, my skirt is hiked up and my panties are down.
    “Do you want this? I mean we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Nathan says, nervously trying to adjust himself in his khaki cargo shorts.
    “I want to.”
    It’s true. I do want to. I want to feel desired, beautiful, accepted, and wanted. I haven’t felt this before, and deep down inside I know I am only taking ten steps back. He seems so real and caring, but my gut is telling me that he isn’t. Maybe that is Davis’ actions taking control over my happiness, or perhaps it’s the pessimistic view that will always be engrained in my brain. I’ve never been able to see the bright side of things, but who can blame me considering what I have endured so far, and I am only eighteen-years-old.
    “Will anyone see us?” I whisper.
    “Don’t you worry, darling. I won’t let anyone see us,” he whispers back, showing me that smile of his that makes me burn with need.
    I shake my head yes and he pulls his shorts down after retrieving a condom from his pocket. My eyes widen when I have a full look at him. He rolls it onto himself and situates his hips between my legs. He slides himself inside and sighs with appreciation.
    Is it always going to hurt?
    His lips meet mine once more and his movements become faster. Within minutes, his body stills as he enjoys his release.
    Pain and three minutes, what is the hype about sex anyway?
    He pulls out of me and offers me a kiss on the cheek. I put my panties back on as he dresses himself. We sit in an awkward silence for the remainder of the night.
    He holds my hand as we drive home and as he pulls into my long driveway he begins his speech.
    “Look, Lyla, I really like you and all, but senior year is hella busy for me with school and football. And I just broke up with Betsy last month. Can we keep this between us? Like our secret. I still want to see you when I have time.”
    I knew it, I should’ve trusted my instincts. I failed myself again, and clearly I am not good enough to be wrapped around his arm while walking down the halls at school. I don’t meet the standards to be considered his girl or wear his letter jacket during sport seasons. Why did I allow myself to do this? Why? One awful word that will always have the upper hand with me… failure.

6
A Girls Night to Remember
    Homecoming night used to be fun for me. The week prior was full of themed days at school, one being camo day which was everyone’s favorite. Students and teachers paint their faces and dress in crazy school colors on Spirit Day. I wasn’t in tune with it this year. I hadn’t been since sophomore year when Garett was a senior. He was the star football player and those were times when people didn’t fuck with me.
    Davis has continued to keep his distance and Nathan calls me at random times to meet him behind the basketball stadium at school, only when it is dark and no one can find us. He tells me what I want to hear when we are together, that I am beautiful in my own ” way ” and that if the timing was right, we would be able to have a proper