Read Broken: Book 1 of the Scars and Sorrow Saga for Free Online Page B

relationship. I give into his lines every time. When he kisses me and runs his fingers through my hair while whispering how good I feel, it yields the gap that is in my heart, but only for a short while.
    The moments that follow our meetings make me feel a million times worse. Those seconds are when he won’t look at me while he’s dressing himself and discarding the condom. He doesn’t say much afterwards either, except that he will call me. But he won’t ever call me to talk to me and ask me how my day went. He doesn’t chat with me to find out what my plans are for the weekend because I am not good enough to attend the parties or go to the movies with the “it” group. I don’t meet those standards until he is bored and horny, and at that time I become just “good enough”. I’m tired of that. I want to be more than that, I want to be someone’s…
    Why can’t I be the girl that is posing proudly for a Christmas Dance photo or the one that goes to dinner with her boy’s parents, allowing them to dote on her about how wonderful she is? That isn’t me and it won’t ever be me. I just need to accept it and break the cycle with Nathan, but I can’t bring myself to do that. I am not strong enough. He senses my vulnerability and takes advantage of it. I allow it, so I am just as much the culprit as he is.
    I relent to my mother’s pleas and agree to go to the Homecoming football game with her and Rick. Yeah, I am the teen who goes to games with her parents on a Friday night when the others are getting ready and adding black and red sparkles to their eyes with painted numbers on their faces of their boyfriends’ jersey number. That isn’t me…
    I go dressed in a Rigdon High T-shirt and sit at the home team section next to all the mothers chanting loudly with their ringing cowbells. I hear screams of disproval when the ref makes a call against one of their sons and hoorays when they score. It’s rather annoying, but I am trying to compromise with my mother. After all, it is only six months until the ball and chain is released from me and I start the new life that I long for. A life away from Rigdon where no one knows my past and isn’t going to judge me for rumors that they heard at the café. People in Chicago won’t be privy to the cloud of dismay that has followed me for years. I will just be another girl at Loyola trying to start anew. I don’t plan on ever looking back when I leave this place either.
    The boys pull off a victory. They rush off the field, smiling at the praise from the crowd and into the tunnel to shower and change before they head to their trucks and waiting girlfriends. They will then go and drink off of one of the many back roads in Shelton County and talk about the biggest play of the night. The boys will pull pranks on one another while the girls laugh in an annoying high-pitched cackle.
    I start to make my way down the bleachers, but Betsy stops me. Yes, the Betsy Snyder that once had Nathan’s heart, the same boy that takes me weekly behind the stadium after dark. My heart sinks. I hope she doesn’t know anything. That would add fuel to a fire that doesn’t need to be out of control.
    “Lyla, hey.”
    “Hey, Betsy.”
    “Good game, huh?” she asks.
    What the fuck is this small talk about?
    “Look, the girls and I are headed to the café and wanted to know if you would like to come along.”
    My mother nudges me. Damn, there isn’t a way I can get out of this. I know it bothers Momma that I am not a social butterfly like her other kids. I suppose I can get through one night for her, especially if it makes her smile.
    “Okay, I will meet you there,” I say.
    “Great!” she says while clapping her hands together playfully.
    She’s an idiot. I look over at my mom, less than pleased with my agreement.
    “It will do you some good to get out of the house, baby. All you do is read and study. It will be fun!” she chimes.
    I hope.
    Thirty minutes later I am sitting at a