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crying.
    “No, she didn’t, but that’s in the past. We have to focus on now.”
    “You’re right.” I wipe the tears away, will my eyes to not be red, and turn around to face my big brother. “Why would Hell make you see Gracen?”
    “I don’t think it did. I think it was really her.”
    That makes no sense. “Can’t be. I was with her. After the Hell gate, I was with her. I talked to her. I, you know, hung out. It was really Gracen.”
    “Didn’t Seth stab her? With the demon-killing knife?” I can see the wheels in Lucien’s brain turning. I’m not sure I like where they’re going.
    “Yeah…” I drawl out.
    “And she died?”
    “I don’t… I don’t know. I thought she was, and then she looked at me, so I thought she had lived somehow.”
    “What if…” Lucien starts, and I lean back against the closet doors. No good sentence ever started with what if. “What if she died? And because of the demon blood, she went to Hell, but she crawled out when it was opened—or some of her did.”
    “And you think part of her stayed down there? To torture you?” Because that makes total sense in the way that it doesn’t.
    “I think part of her was forced to stay down there. For whatever reason. But I know for a fact that it was Gracen. No doubts. None. And I know that whatever the Abomination is, it has to be…”
    He stops very abruptly. Too abruptly for my taste. It definitely catches my attention. “Has to be what?”
    He clears his throat and bites his lip. Lucien always had tells when he was lying. His biggest one… when he lies, he can’t look into your eyes. He looks at your nose or your ear or something in the vicinity of the eye but never the actual eye.
    Lucien looks me directly in the eye. “Go take a shower. Get cleaned up. I’ll be waiting for you when you get out, and then we can talk about this. I think we have a lot to talk about.”
    “I think I need to find Gracen.”
    “I think you’ll find her after you take a shower and we talk. We have time. Cats and dogs haven’t started falling from the sky yet.”
    He has a point. As much as I need to go find Gracen, I do need to get this mud off. And I do need to take some time to regroup. I have no idea where Gracen is or where I can find her. I don’t know the first place to look. Maybe a hot shower will help me think. I need a plan. Not some willy-nilly, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants thing, but a real life plan. This is too serious to go in half-cocked.
    So I reluctantly agree. “Okay. Fine. One short shower. Then we talk in the kitchen to set up a plan.”
    “Sounds good.” Lucien smiles. I can see the tiredness in his eyes.
    I nod, there’s nothing else to say, and go toward the door. I stop when I reach the threshold. “Lucien, I have to get her back.”
    “You will,” he says in that reassuring way he has about him.
    I love my big brother.
    I’m glad we’re finally on the same side.
    I hear the phone ring, and I don’t even stop to question it. I simply open doors until I find the bathroom, and then I turn on the lights and strip down. I’ll have to find some more clothes. I don’t even care. A quick shower sounds heavenly.
    I cover the mirror with a blanket just in case I catch a glimpse. I don’t want to see myself.
    I don’t want to think about myself.
    Gracen is my main concern.
    I have to make sure she’s all right.
    I have to protect her.
    I love her too much to let her down.

CHAPTER TEN
     
    Hart
    I BELIEVE THIS IS THE BEST shower I’ve ever had in my entire life.
    That’s saying a lot.
    Well, maybe not.
    This body has never had a shower.
    Which is strange to think about.
    Way back in the day, we had a wash tub with water heated on the fire… occasionally. Lucien got his water heated more than I did. I was lucky to get water.
    But I digress.
    I’d taken showers as Sam, of course. I always loved them. I always made them extra scalding. I said at the time it was because I liked the heat. Now I think it was