Read Breathless for Free Online Page A

because maybe I was trying to wash away all my ugly sins, purify myself or something.
    Or maybe I was just making up for all those cold baths.
    Who knows?
    I spend much more time in the shower than I intended. I thought I’d just hop in and get out. Then I’d go after Gracen.
    But once the water hit, and all the dirt and mud and blood just slid down me and down the drain, I knew that I didn’t want to get out. Time slipped away, and it wasn’t until the water turned cold that I realized that maybe I should get out.
    Maybe.
    I use some coconut-scented shampoo and get my hair all nice and lathered. As I wash it away, I lean my head against the shower stall, shut my eyes, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I let my mind go blank.
    I enjoy the water.
    I enjoy the feeling of it sliding over me.
    I enjoy the sensation of all the sins and all the evilness as it washes away, just disappearing down the drain.
    If only life were that easy. If only we could take a shower or a bath, and poof, we were forgiven of everything. Everything was washed away.
    I don’t know if I could ever be forgiven for what I’ve done.
    Not only to Gracen. Maybe I could be forgiven for that. I was a demon after all, doing demonly things.
    But as a brother.
    I killed my brother.
    Who does that?
    I’m a murderer.
    Plain and simple, and nothing I can ever do will take that away from me.
    I wish I could change things. I can’t. I have to live with them. I have to make things right with Lucien.
    The water is nearly freezing when I pull my forehead off the shower wall and turn the water off. Whoever lives there will get a surprising water bill, if they ever come back.
    I don’t want to know what Seth did to them. Sometimes the less you know, the better.
    Knowing less would be a blessing.
    I get out and wrap a towel around me, still marveling at how this old body doesn’t have a scratch on it. I know Gracen had to have done it somehow, resurrected my brother and me. I should thank her for it when I see her. I should’ve taken the time to figure out where to look first instead of being selfish and disappearing into the numbness of my mind.
    I hope I didn’t waste too much time because I have to find her.
    If I can find her, I know I can stop her.
    She’ll listen to me…
    Right?
    Maybe.
    I mean, I’ve done nothing but lie to her. I lied to her about who she really is, and I lied to her about why we needed to go and visit her mother. And I lied to her when I told her I didn’t love her. Or when I implied it.
    So, in what world would she trust me?
    In what world am I the good guy?
    It makes absolutely no sense.
    I dry off and toss the towel down on the floor. Another mystery for the people of the house when they get home. I let the breeze hit my bare bits as I walk into the bedroom and try for the second time to find some clothes. This time I find some black workout pants with a white stripe going down the side and a black V-neck shirt. I’m okay with this. I put them on, grab some socks and shoes, and head downstairs to continue my talk with Lucien.
    I’m still reeling from the fact that he swears Gracen tortured him in Hell. There is no way. Unless he’s right, and she did lose a part of herself down there. Maybe we all do. Maybe we all left some little piece of us in the pit, and we’ll never get it back. I can’t stand the thought of Gracen, or something like Gracen, torturing people. She’s not that kind of person. She would be trying to help them, not hurt them.
    Then again, I saw what my brother was like in Gracen’s bedroom. His eyes were jet black, and he attacked me like nothing I’d ever seen before. Something had done a number on him. Something I don’t want to think about as Gracen. Something that no longer was her, if that’s what happened.
    I’m confused.
    I’m also confused by the smell of sausage that meets me as I reach the top of the stairs. I smell the sausage, hear what I suppose is eggs frying, and can