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animal itself.’
    Arguably it wasn’t the act itself that caused the horse distress, rather its new friend being hit with a stick by its owner. What if he had been jailed? Barlinnie’s corridors would have echoed with endless neighing and whinnying. There would have been a waiting list for
Black Beauty
in the prison library, and the conversations in the lunch queue would have been punctuated with cries of ‘Ye did whit?’
    Some ten million or so separate human beings would have read that article. Many would have at least mulled over the moral and logistical aspects of the case. We can only guess at the impact on the collective psyche.
    Johnson was not a stranger to this type of journalism. Despite his subsequent cerebral contributions to
The Spectator
and
The Rambler
he had an early grounding in the popular press. One of his first jobs was with
Warren’s Birmingham Journal
. An edition from his time with the paper includes the following highlights:
    ‘In Kent a grampus landed on the flats at Sandwich, proved very troublesome and made a hideous roaring … while a workman from Mr Tomkins’ glass-house, being cheerful and seemingly in good health, suddenly trembled and died … in Stephen’s Street in Dublin the five year old son of Jones the plasterer fell down a well of a very great depth … in Hammond Lane a shoemaker named Terryl poisoned himself being jealous of his wife …’
    Boswell could have saved much time, effort and printer’s ink if he had, instead of publishing his vast and swollen biography, taken a leafout of the
Metro
and confined himself to the column space used in the daily
60 Second Interview
.
    B Well, Doctor, why did you choose to compile a dictionary when there were some perfectly good ones about?
    J The intricate machinations of the epistemological concept intimated strongly …
    B Thank you Doctor? Do you believe in God?
    J The nature and manner of your inquiry prompts me to conclude that the subject of theological speculation is one that has been reduced ad absurdum to popular conceit and a degree of ignorance that …
    B Good answer, Doctor. What is your next project?
    J After the foul and unjustified reception afforded to my dramatic tragic comedy at Drury lane, and given the lingering affection for
Irene
, and the welcome encouragement from David Garrick, I am inclined once more to engage with the muse of Dionysius. My subject will be …
    B Excellent news!
    After a brief sojourn in Kirkcaldy we travelled the few miles to Kinghorn where Boswell and Johnson landed after visiting Inchkeith. The Sassenach Mohr was unimpressed. He declared in a letter to Mrs Thrale, ‘A mean town … consisting of horse hirers and boatmen noted all over Scotland for their impudence and meanness.’ In the pages of his more measured
Journal
he confines himself to a description of the meal they had at Munros, probably at Pettycur harbour, of ‘fish with onion sauce, roast mutton, and potatoes’. Johnson eating was not a pretty sight. Boswell noted how he would make an interesting range of sounds with his mouth including ‘chewing the cud and clucking like a hen’. Sadly we had no opportunity to practise our repertoire of hen impersonations. There was not a greasy spoon in sight, let alone a restaurant.
    We did though pass Alexander Drive en route to the harbour. David explained that in 1286 King Alexander III, aged 44, was returning on horseback to be with his young second wife at Kinghorn Castle after meeting his council in Edinburgh. It is alleged that in the dark and in foul weather his horse stumbled and pitched him to his death over the cliffs. The consequences were huge as the crisis of succession led directly to the Wars of Independence with England. Growing into the role of a medieval Rebus David became increasingly animated propounding all manner of conspiracy and assassination theories. Judging by the unsavoury state of the Kinghorn pavements it was surely more likely that the poor man’s horse