her, and held her until she calmed down, very aware that she had in all likelihood played me for a fool.
I turned us around and walked her backwards to our bed. She started kissing my neck, and when I eased her onto the mattress she started unbuttoning my shirt. Everything, even thoughts, about being intimate with Stella felt wrong, like I was betraying Jade somehow. And I knew I wasn’t because it was Jade who had walked away from me. Still, I had no desire to have sex with Stella, and that in itself should’ve been another warning – YOU DON’T BELONG WITH THIS GIRL – and yet I stayed. Like a fucking pussy afraid of being alone, I stayed.
“Stop,” I murmured, wrapping my hands around Stella’s wrists. Her skin was pale next to mine, and I immediately started comparing it to Jade’s warm caramel skin. I was a jerk. A big one.
“I want to have sex with you, Reid,” whined Stella. Gone was the distraught girlfriend from seconds ago, and in her place was the girl who knew how to play me to get what she wanted. Sadly for her, this was one thing I wasn’t ready to give yet. “We’ve been together for almost two months, and you haven’t wanted to fuck me yet.”
The way she said it made my skin crawl, and any hope of a hard on fizzled like a dying flame. She saw sex as ‘fucking’, and nothing more, and I realized then that after Jade I would never be able to see sex as just that. I wanted that connection, I craved it, and realizing that Stella couldn’t give it to me was like a slap to the face.
I couldn’t do this with her anymore. I was putting myself through the wringer, and leading Stella to believe that I could love her. I’d become the worst kind of guy, the kind that used one girl to get over another despite knowing it would never work.
“I can’t do this with you right now,” I said. “Please, just go to sleep.”
Stella’s face was blank of emotion, but I saw the latent anger flashing in her shallow eyes. She wasn’t going to let this lie, but I was going to end things before she could rip me apart over it. I just had to wait until we were back from Cabo.
She disentangled herself from me, and turned her back as she crawled under the covers. I was too wound up to sleep, so I stood up, and made my way into the living room, shutting the door behind me. There were murmurs coming from the kitchen, and when I followed the sound I found Kennedy talking to our friend Grady. He had a scowl etched onto his face, and Kennedy looked worried.
“Everything okay?” I asked. They both looked up at me, and if looks could kill, I’d be a pile of ash on the floor.
“No,” said Grady, “It’s not, but we’re dealing with it.”
The way he said ‘ we’re’ didn’t sit well with me at all. “What’s wrong?”
Kennedy sighed, and turned her head towards Grady. “He’ll find out one way or another,” she said. “Might as well tell him.”
“You do what you think is best honey bee. I have to get going, but I’ll text you when I get back.”
He turned around without sparing me another glance and left.
“Tell me what?” I prompted.
“I’m only telling you because I know you care about Jade. She’s leaving, her parents are sending a jet.”
“Why would she do that?”
Kennedy wrung her fingers together, and refused to meet my eyes. “Grady said she’s really sick, and she wants to go home.”
“I’ll go talk to her,” I said, moving towards the door.
Kennedy’s hand shot out and grabbed my forearm. “You’ve done enough,” she said quietly. “Just let her go, Reid. She needs some space from you. You can talk to her when we get back.”
Her hand fell away, and she left me standing in the kitchen, alone with my worry, and the clusterfuck of emotions colliding in my chest. For whatever reason, I listened to Kennedy’s advice, but as soon as we got back to Brighton, Jade and I were going to talk, and I wasn’t going to let her get away without hearing everything I had
Jennifer McCartney, Lisa Maggiore