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ultrasound machine, and a bed – “and she’ll help you get situated. I’ll be with right with you.”
    I stepped inside, and turned to face my mother, my hands clasped tightly. I had no idea what to say to her just then. Did I apologize for being pregnant or being pregnant at the tender of twenty?
    Both would insinuate I was sorry, but then I’d have to be sorry about what happened with Reid, and I wasn’t. Not for one second. I was, however, sorry that things had ended up this way, and that I was here experiencing this life-changing moment without him.
    I wanted so much to talk to my mother about everything, but thought better of it when a curvy African-American nurse walked in.
    “Jade Matthews?”
    I nodded, swallowing the bundled nerves in my throat, and she smiled kindly. “You can lie down on the bed,” – she led me over to where I had to lie down – “and just lift your shirt over your stomach. I will be doing your ultrasound today, but Dr. Burke will be with us shortly to observe.”
    Wordlessly, I climbed onto the narrow bed, and lifted up my shirt. My mother stood at my side, and took my shaking hand in hers.
    “I’m here, darling,” she said in Spanish. It was strange having her there, only because her and my father spent very little time at home. My mother was an interior designer, and her company designed hotels and large apartment blocks all across the globe. My father, Erik, was a retired pilot, but had started his own charter company when I was twelve years old. When celebrities, congressmen, and even world famous musicians needed to charter planes, or jets, my father’s company was the one they sought out. I rarely saw them for long periods of time, so the fact that my mother had put her busy schedule aside to make sure I was okay meant a lot. 
    “This is going to be a little cold,” said the nurse. She applied some cool gel onto my abdomen, and I sucked in a breath because, fuck, it really was cold. Just then the door opened, and Dr. Burke walked in.
    “Have you started yet, Sirenda?” She asked, looking at the nurse.
    “You’re just in time,” she replied, looking up at the ultrasound machine. She pressed the wand down onto my stomach, spreading the gel around, and started clicking away. A loud swooshing sound filled the room, and after a few minutes I heard it.
    The steady thump-thump thump-thump of my baby’s heartbeat.
    No sound had ever been more life altering, or more terrifying. I couldn’t describe how it felt, knowing there was a new life inside me. It was actually...breathtaking.
    “Wow, that’s a strong heartbeat,” said Dr. Burke. “160bpm, very good.”
    “You’re about sixteen weeks,” said the nurse, clicking a few buttons while moving the wand around. “Baby weighs just over three ounces, and measures in at,” – click click – “four and a half inches. Perfect.”
    My mother let out a slight whimper, and when I looked at her I saw she’d shed a few tears.
    “Mama.” I tightened my grip on her hand, feeling the urge to cry myself.
    “Your due date is round about August 18 th , Miss Matthews. That means conception took place...” Click. Click.
    “Thanksgiving,” I finished. My baby was conceived over Thanksgiving. After that first night with Reid in Barcelona, the night after we’d laid my sweet grandmother to rest. I didn’t miss the irony of it at all.
    I saw the look on my mothers’ face, and knew she was thinking the same thing I was.
    “Bendición,” she whispered, her eyes watery.
    Blessing.
    A profound sense of peace blanketed me just then, and I smiled – it was a real smile, honest and light. How could I be upset when the magnitude of this baby’s presence was so overwhelming? The timing was wrong, but also so perfect, especially after I’d had such a hard time saying goodbye to my grandmother.
    This baby felt like a gift somehow, and I refused to allow my fears to take away from that.
    The nurse printed some pictures for me, and