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really useful, like those women. Today I talked with one of the officers. She says I could join next month, as soon as I’m eighteen. They’d have me then. But I thought I ought to tell you now –’
    â€˜Stop this nonsense, Virginia! Don’t be so ridiculous! You have a perfectly good job as an insurance clerk. I shouldn’t dream of allowing you to do anything so stupid. A girl of your background joining the Services! I never heard of such a thing. Only the lowest type of girls do that.’
    She had said doggedly: ‘I don’t think that’s true, Mother. Lots of women are volunteering now – veryrespectable ones. I’ve seen them standing in the queues. I don’t want to spend the war working at Falcon Assurance. I want to do something worthwhile. Please try to understand.’
    Two red spots had appeared in Mother’s white cheeks. ‘Oh, I understand. I understand very well. You just want to go off and enjoy yourself, and leave me here all on my own. That’s the truth of it, so don’t try to pretend otherwise. Worthwhile, indeed! I should have thought it was worthwhile to remember your duty to me, after all I’ve done for you . . . bringing you up single-handed. You’re selfish and ungrateful – and deceitful too, just like your father. Going off to that place without telling me – pretending you were at the office –’
    â€˜I didn’t pretend that, Mother –’
    â€˜You’re taking after him, and you’re going to abandon me, just like he did. You’re going to leave me to face the bombs all by myself. I could be blown to bits for all you care!’
    Mother’s voice had risen to a hysterical pitch and there had been tears in her eyes. It had been horrible. She had hardly ever seen her cry.
    â€˜I do care, Mother. Of course, I do.’
    â€˜No, you don’t, or you wouldn’t even consider leaving me after all I’ve suffered. You’re a heartless, wicked creature and if you go I shall never forgive you!’
    Mother had dropped the saucepan lid with a crash and rushed from the kitchen. Her bedroom door had slammed shut so hard that it had shaken the walls of the flat.
    She had stood quite still, in shock and distress, clutching the spoons and the damp tea cloth to her chest, feeling her heart thumping hard. The soup had boiled over suddenly, oozing in lava-like streams over the top of the saucepan and down the sides to sizzle on the stove. There had been a smell of burning from the cabbage. She had moved forward blindly to turn both off.
    Much later, Mother had come out of her room and they had eaten their dinner in complete silence. Somehowshe had forced down the haddock and the burned-tasting cabbage. As usual they had listened to the nine o’clock news on the wireless, as they sat knitting. It had sounded bad. The British Expeditionary Force was in France, German U-boats were attacking British shipping, the Russians were advancing into south-eastern Europe . . . It had seemed clearer than ever to her that she should join up, but she had not dared to raise the subject again.
    Lying in bed, she thought about Mother and tried to understand how she felt. The trouble was that Mother had never got over the fact that Father had left her. She had never forgiven or forgotten it, but allowed the wound to fester all these years and to poison her life. And she could never forget that they had once lived in a big house on the edge of Wimbledon Common, with servants. Virginia found she could scarcely remember the house now; nor much of her father. He was only a vague memory of a quiet voice and a prickly moustache and an aroma of cigarette smoke. She thought, though she could not be sure, that he had called her Ginny. She wished she knew more, but Mother hardly ever spoke of him and when she did, like this evening, it was always with a dreadful bitterness. Not only had he been