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she left me hanging.
“Anything else, mam?” the waitress asked, dropping my plate off.
“No.” I smiled. “I’m fine.”
When she left I realized she forgot my water. I turned around to remind her but she was already in the back. When I turned around to eat, Jay was sitting in the seat in front of me.
“What’s up, Parade?” his curly hair was neatly shaped. The black t-shirt he wore showcased his platinum chain beautifully. The cologne he wore was an aphrodisiac. I’m so glad I wore this outfit. I knew I was looking hot! And he looked so fuckin’ sexy.
“What are you doing here, Jay?” I asked, fiddling around with my omelet.
“I’m here to pick up my carryout order.” He fell back against the booth style seat.
“Well I’m waitin’ on Daffany so you gotta leave.”
“I’ll wait until she gets here.” I wanted to say no but my heart raced like it did every time I saw him. “So how you been?”
“I’m good,” I responded slowly. “Just trying to settle in that’s all.”
“I heard that. So how’s life?”
“Why, Jay?” I asked, dropping the fork against my plate looking into his eyes briefly.
“Cause I want to know.”
“You never cared before.”
“Well I care now. So tell me what’s good wit you.”’
“I’m getting married.” I decided to let it right out. He was gonna find out anyway.
And instead of him being upset he said, “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” I responded, disappointed that I didn’t get a better reaction from him.
“So who’s the lucky, bamma?”
“Smokes.”
“Smokes?” He repeated surprised. He sat up straight, looked around and back at me. “You sure you know what you gettin’ into fuckin’ wit him?” he whispered. “That nigga’s a straight killa.”
“You sound like you on his nuts.”
The lines in his forehead got deeper and I knew I pushed my limits with that comment.
“I’ma ignore that shit you just said cause you my, shawty,” he announced. “I just know what type of shit he be on. And didn’t he have somethin’ to do with Sky gettin’ killed?”
I looked around hoping no one heard him and said, “What does that supposed to mean?”
“It means you fuckin’ wit somebody off your level. A straight murderer. I’m just lookin’ out that’s all.”
“Off my level? Lets not forget I snagged your ass!” I shot back.
Silence.
“Aight…calm down, Parade. I’m just lookin’ out for you. You do what you want to for real,” he backed down although it was clear he was bothered.
“It doesn’t matter, Jay. I’m just waitin’ on Daffany so you can excuse yourself.”
“She ain’t comin’.”
I looked at him and squinted my eyes. “What you mean she ain’t comin’?”
“She not comin’,” he repeated. “I saw her at the Manor earlier kickin’ it with some nigga.”
“Well I’m still waitin’. So bye, Jay.”
“Parade, I don’t want you to marry that mothafucka.”
My heart felt like it escaped my body with his words. I was confused and scared all together. You don’t understand, I use to worship the ground he walked on. And he treated me like I was lower than life. Dealin’ with him hurt but I got use to it. You know, like getting your eyebrows waxed. After while, it just doesn’t hurt anymore.
“What you say, Jay?”
“I said I don’t want you to marry him, Parade. Now we had our problems, and I know it’s fucked up that I use to fuck wit’ Sky considerin’ ya’ll were friends, but I wasn’t feelin’ her nowhere near how I’m feelin’ you. And I told her that right before she died. I told her how much you meant to me. So I ain’t out here tryin’ to get wit’ you because she’s gone. I’m feelin’ you. I always did.”
“You just talkin’ shit.” I told him trying not to cry. I hated hearing about Sky and the fact that she ain’t here no more. And I hated hearing how I betrayed our friendship when she was alive. But Sky was so mean to me. So cold. And I learned after her death, that she