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to further your career and when you had enough you walked. You broke my fucking heart. I'd never known anything but you and you just walked the fuck out. Big plans from a big man. Lies. Six years' worth of lies. You got what you wanted and split."
    I didn't want to hear the hurt in his voice. Or see it in his eyes. I didn't want to think about that day.
    "Don't you fucking blame me. I was done with the videos. You knew that when you and Deakman got together. I was out and you were out. I was at a point where I could focus on us and a future together. I didn't have my past eating me alive anymore. I just had you.
    But you had to get greedy. You had to do just one more film. And you left me lying on the floor with my ass ripped open. Bleeding from a goddamned gang rape and laughed as if it was just another job. How many were there, Seth, how many men? I never knew.
    I just took it. And I left because I couldn't live with it."
    "What the hel are you talking about? It was what you wanted. Deakman told me you'd signed off on it. I didn't want to do it. We'd never done anything like that before. But you wanted the big payday so we wouldn't have to worry about money."
    "Deakman lied. And there wasn't that much money. Not enough for what the two of you did to me.
    Whatever, man. It's over and done with. You've found yourself a good gig. You can pick up guys under the guise of knowing what it was like. So… you keep on doing that. Just stay the hel away from Kel." Anger consumed me. I couldn't stop thinking about that night four years ago and his voice as he blindfolded me and walked me into our bedroom. Ours. His and mine. And how other voices joined his. Singing Happy Birthday as they stripped me. It was my birthday. My goddamned lover had arranged for one heluva present complete with cameras and extras. Only problem was I wasn't wiling but that didn't matter to anyone.
    "Because you want him al to yourself? I never figured you for that big of a monster. But it figures. You always did love surfer boys. The blonder, the better.
    Just like me. And because he doesn't look a thing like you, you can get away with it." He sneered at me, hatred beaming from his eyes. The hate hurt as much as the words. How dare he hate me? I didn't do a goddamned thing to him. I squeezed his neck until his eyes began to bulge and he started to turn blue.
    Something in my gut screamed in pain and I let go.
    "Fuck you, Seth." I pushed him down the stairs watching as he stumbled but caught his balance before I climbed the rest of the way up and let myself in to my dark apartment. Pain slashing in my head, blinding me, tears prickled at the back of my eyes but never came. I couldn't catch my breath. I heaved with trying.
    I pushed the door closed hoping to shut out the hurt as easily as I shut him out but it didn't latch.
    Instead, it burst in on me as he slammed inside. Rage in his eyes, he seemed larger. I knew his temper. I'd dealt with it for six years. He was hard to make angry but when he managed to get there, it was ugly. Right now was hideous.
    "Maybe that's a good idea," he said as he kicked the door closed and advanced on me. I backed up like the coward I am, my knees buckling when I reached the sofa. He caught me before I teetered over, his hands twisted in my shirt. He held me in that half suspended pose for a ful moment before he slashed his mouth across mine in a brutal kiss. His teeth sliced into my lips and I cried out just before I opened my mouth.
    Four years of anger and pain along with bitter loneliness made me forget why this was wrong. I kissed him as if I were starving and he was the last slice of pepperoni pizza left on the planet. Dirty, open mouth kisses with teeth and tongue and it was so fucking good. "Missed you." I hadn't meant to say that. He growled low in his throat but didn't acknowledge he'd heard otherwise. "Missed you so fucking much."
    "Shut up. Just shut up. Fuck, Liam. Just shut up," he grunted as he clawed at my hair.