her brother, I was friendly with Meri. I knew that she was dating a young man, Kody Brown, with whom she was clearly smitten. Although Meri talked about Kody a great deal, I had never met him.
That evening, when Kody walked into the house to join the party, the strangest feeling washed over me. I felt as if I had forgotten something and suddenly remembered it. It was a feeling of relief and recognition. But I was in the middle of a horrible divorce and I had no idea how to handle the sensation Kody’s entrance conjured in me. So I packed it away and made a mental note to deal with it later.
My divorce was not yet finalized, so I still attended certain functions with my estranged husband. One of these was Meri and Kody’s wedding. If you look at their wedding pictures, you will see me and my ex-husband in several of the photos.
Kody and Meri made a wonderful couple. They were so young and so much in love. They were like teenagers—silly and goofy.At their wedding, I never imagined that one day I’d join their family. In fact, I hadn’t yet considered converting to their faith.
A little more than a year after my own wedding, my divorce was finalized. My husband lost touch with me and spent very little time with his family. But I grew closer to my former in-laws. I entered their family by marriage and stayed when the marriage was over.
Kody
Even when Meri and I were newlyweds, entering the principle of plural marriage was always at the back of our minds. I had a sense in my heart that this was something I needed to do when I was young. I had seen older men marrying women who had children by their first husbands. I didn’t think that I should or could bring other people’s children into my life and merge my family with someone else’s. At the time, I felt that this would be disruptive to the children and uncomfortable for the ex-husband.
After Meri and I were married, Janelle was often on the periphery of our lives. We both knew that Janelle had endured a rough period during her short-lived marriage, and we wanted to make sure that she remained close with Meri’s family despite the divorce. We, as well as Meri’s parents, were looking out for Janelle purely because we cared about her. There was never any thought in my mind, or in Meri’s, of Janelle becoming a wife.
Meri and I often invited Janelle out for pizza or a movie. The women had developed a friendship of their own, independent of Meri’s brother. And through Meri, I got to know Janelle. Our friendship was entirely platonic, but I recognized Janelle’s intelligence, and conversation always flowed easily between us.
Janelle has always been career-minded. When I first met her,she worked in marketing communications, but then she switched to human resources at an employment agency. I always seemed to be working transitory jobs—Meri and I were still living our carefree existence and hadn’t settled on a logical career path.
After Meri and I had been married for three months, I went looking for a new job. I went to the employment agency where Janelle worked. She helped me out, first with a few part-time positions, and eventually with a full-time job in sales. One afternoon I had to stop by Janelle’s office to pick up a check. I passed by her desk to say hello. A quick hello turned into a long conversation. Janelle was very forthcoming about her life. She complained about the guys she was dating, about how immature and unsatisfactory they were. Immediately a thought popped into my head: Janelle should marry a guy like me . I thought I was the perfect solution to Janelle’s problem. Back then I was young and arrogant. I was also naive. I thought that I was everything Janelle was looking for.
A few months later, Meri and I were getting ready to move from Utah to Wyoming to be close to my family. Meri, Janelle, and I had spent some time together and gotten to know one another even better. In fact, Meri and I were even renting Janelle’s old house