Read Battle of the Dum Diddys for Free Online

“Doo-Wah-Diddys rule!” Crench shouted.
    â€œOnly five dollars a costume,” I said. “Come on, dudes. Cash only. Pay up. Pay up. And NO bubus. I only take American dollars!”
    They each forked over the five bucks. I looked up to see more guys in my doorway. “Nosebleed, Chipmunk—get in here!” I pulled out more costumes.
    â€œFive dollars. Pay up. Gimme five!” I shouted, handing out the armor and swords. “Now you dudes can play Wungo Warriors in 3-D!”
    Their happy cries rang out:
    â€œSweet!”
    â€œAwesomely awesome!”
    â€œTotally gnarly!”
    â€œNighty-night to all Knighty Knight Knights!”
    â€œOwwwww! You poked my eye out!”
    â€œBeast, get in here!” I shouted. “Hey—who else is left? Don’t shove—I’ve got plenty of costumes! One size fits all! Hurry. Get your money out.”
    I had a big wad of cash in my hand. The line of Rotten House guys waiting for costumes stretched down the stairs. Even Angel Goodeboy forked over five bucks for a cape and wooden sword.
    After a few minutes the Doo-Wah-Diddys all stood there in their armor, holding their plastic shields, waving their swords, singing the Doo-Wah-Diddy Dragons anthem.

    Belzer had his visor on sideways. He kept walking into walls. I grabbed the visor and spun it around. I heard Belzer’s neck crack. Maybe I spun it too hard!
    â€œNow what do we do, Big B?” Belzer asked.
    â€œATTACK! DESTROY! WIN!” Angel shouted.
    â€œYEAH!” Beast let out a roar.
    He and Angel ran down the stairs and out of the dorm.
    â€œYo—wait!” I cried. Too late. The Dum Diddys all ran after them, screaming and waving their wooden swords.
    I had no choice. I had to follow them. I shoved the big wad of fives into my pants pocket and took off.
    Out on the grass, I could see where Beast and Angel were heading—right to Sherman Oaks and his Knighty Knight Knights at Nyce House.
    What had I done ?

Chapter 18
“ATTACK! DESTROY! WIN!”
    The Rotten House Doo-Wah-Diddy Dragons burst into Nyce House, roaring, chanting, waving their swords.
    â€œWhoa—wait! Pause! PAUSE the game!” I shouted. But I was too late.
    Beast raised his sword and started slashing away at the curtains. Angel swung hard and shattered a lamp. Crench stabbed a couch and a chair. Feenman was painting the floor red. (That guy just didn’t give up with the red paint!)
    â€œDon’t wrinkle your costumes!” I shouted. “Nostains! No stains! I have to return them!”
    There was no way they could hear me over their screams of attack.
    Â 
    CLANG! CLANG!
    Â 
    Chipmunk and Nosebleed had their helmet-visors down and were head-butting each other. Paintings crashed to the floor.
    Â 
    â€œATTACK! ATTACK!”
    Â 
    Belzer screamed. And he stabbed himself in the foot!
    It was out of control. I offered one hundred bubus to anyone who would put down his sword and stop fighting. But helmets clanged, and swords slashed and hacked.
    And we burst in on Sherman Oaks, Wes Updood, and a bunch of Nyce House dudes in their Commons Room. They didn’t hear us coming. They were perched in front of a widescreen TV, clicking away, playing Wungo Warriors.
    Â 
    â€œSURRENDER, OR ELSE!”
    Â 
    Angel shrieked. The Dum Diddys leaped into the room.
    Sherman, the great Wungo Wango, jumped to his feet. His eyes bulged. “Hey—what’s up with this ?” he shouted.
    I had to stop it before it got ugly. Or before my costumes ripped.
    I grabbed Belzer’s sword and ran to the middle of the room. “I claim this dorm in the name of Prince Awesome Dude of the Doo-Wah-Diddy Dum Dibbly Dabbly Doo-dah Dragons!” I shouted. “The Knighty Knight Knights are defeated!”
    â€œNot fair!” Sherman screamed. “Not fair! You can’t do this! You don’t have access codes from the Wungo Wango. You can’t come in here without