Sheâs got stretch marks there, and on her stomach too, from carrying Sonya. Over the past few months when she was feeling particularly small and sorry for herself, she used to wonder if that was part of what went wrong last timeâif Jack had pictured her one way for so long that her real, actual body was a disappointment, something other than what was advertised on the label.
Mari had pictured Jack pretty much exactly the way he is.
Now heâs reaching for the button on her jeans while Mari toes off her boots, both of them caught up in the mechanics of it for a second. But when she glances up and catches how heâs staring, she swallows hard enough to choke.
âHi,â she says. There was a moment like this the last time too. It stopped being something that was happening and became something they were doing, actively, a choice. If you ask Mari, thatâs when they should have stopped.
âHi,â Jackson answers.
Then he ducks his head and puts his face between her legs.
Mari blushes. That was part of the problem last time too, how her body wasnât ready, the slippery condom helping but not quite enough. She guesses Jackson remembers.
It isâyeah. It is not so much going to be a problem this time.
Jack must notice, because after a few hard licks heâs crawling back up her body, nosing at her belly and breasts. Mari fights the urge to cover herself and grabs for his belt instead, trying to ignore the way her stomach crumples up into rolls when she reaches. Jackson helps, and then suddenly there they both are, naked as jaybirds. Just like last time, Mari is embarrassed to look.
âJesus.â Apparently Jackson isnât.
âCome here,â Mari gasps, holding out her arms. Sheâs warm all over, exposed and flustered and not really sure if she likes either. She wants him in, suddenly, on top and covering her. âCome on, come here.â
Jack shakes his head, adamant. âNo,â he says, then immediately shakes again. âJustâlet me look a sec, okay? Can you justââ Sheâs caught him by the wrist and he twists his hand until their fingers are laced together, his knuckles warm and rough. Mari makes herself breathe. His gaze is slipping down over her body, breasts and belly and hair at the V of her thighs, this hungry expression on his face like heâs never seen her this way beforeâwhich he hasnât, Mari guesses, not really. Last time they fumbled their way through in the dark. âFuck, Mari.â
âDonât,â Mari says, wanting to cover her eyes like Sonya does when theyâre playing hide-and-seek, like if she canât see him then the reverse is true also. Mariâs not shy, hand to God she isnât, but itâs Jack, itâs Jackson , and even with her head tipped away, nothing about him is lost on her: not the bunched muscle of his shoulders or the low-slung freckles near his waistline, cock curving up against his stomach.
âI want to see you,â he tells her, so quiet Mari isnât even sure he knows heâs saying it. âI always want to, I wantââ
âJack.â It sounds like a sob. She wrestles her fingers free of his and reaches for his neck, his head with that unfamiliar buzz cut, no hair for her to cling to. âDonât, can we justââ Her gaze bounces down between his legs without quite meaning to and suddenly sheâs staring at him directly, unable to look away.
âNo,â Jackson is saying, arguing semantics like theyâre working a case. âJust let me.â He unhooks her arms from around his neck, pinning her wrists against the motel pillows. Then, even quieter than before, âYouâre beautiful, Mari.â
Mariâs still staring. Jackâs cock, Jesus Christ, it was inside her before but sheâs never looked like this. Itâs feels out of context and wrong, like seeing your teacher in a supermarket.
It