nicely. Although I suppose it's really nice of her to do that.'
'It is. Apparently it's her own Scotch broth recipe. Very nutritious, no doubt, but heavy on the split peas, lentils, butter beans and with her secret ingredient, a dash of chilli powder. It's delicious, but absolutely lethal. Do you remember years ago when there was all the publicity about the 'flying yogis' who claimed to be able to levitate in mid-air for a few seconds?'
Annie sighed and said, 'no, I must have missed that somehow.'
'You can still check them out on YouTube. Anyway, I think I've discovered their secret. Home-made Scotch broth. There are three stages of levitation, apparently, and I think I'm at level two already without even trying. But it's not all bad news, because I read last week that the hydrogen sulphide in farts has been scientifically proven to be beneficial to our immune systems.'
'Well you know what they say, boss … it's an ill wind. I've got an idea, maybe you could give a demonstration of your new found skills for Jeremy Kyle. From the little bit I've seen of his show, it would probably raise the tone quite a bit. But don't you dare try it here in the office. And speaking of the office, when are you coming back to boring old work?'
After a long pause, Jack looked away before replying, 'I'm not sure, Annie, I've actually got quite a lot on at the moment.'
'That's rubbish. Like what? Look, boss, this nonsense has gone on long enough, so here's what's going to happen. I'm coming round to pick you up tomorrow morning at ten o'clock to take you out for a couple of hours, just to ease you gently back into things. How does that sound?’
'Oh, I don't know, Annie. I think it might be too soon.'
'Look, it's time for you to man up, boss. I need you back here in the office ASAP because I’m completely out of my depth on a job at a big store in Buchanan Street, that’s being targeted by shoplifters. I don't have a clue what to do and on top of that, one of my friends has just gone missing. So remember, ten o'clock sharp tomorrow morning and be ready. I’ll have the crane on speed-dial and you're coming out of that flat one way or another. Pyjamas are optional and, if you're a brave little soldier, I promise to buy you breakfast. Do we have a deal?'
'I suppose so,' said Jack reluctantly. 'But remember, I'll need to be back at two o'clock for part two of Jeremy Kyle. You know, to see how wee Ralph gets on.'
Chapter 8
After speaking to Jack, Annie was on the point of reviewing more security video footage from days when the department store had suffered its biggest losses, when her mobile rang. Checking the caller’s identity, she smiled with relief and said, 'hi Jamie, where have you been? I've been trying to get in touch with you for ages.’
'Naw, it's no Jamie,' said a gruff male voice, youngish and definitely local to Glasgow. 'Listen, I'm no sure … but I've got an iPhone 6 here that maybe belongs to your mate, Jamie. I tried his home number first, like, but there was no reply. So then I checked his contacts … and that's where I got your number. I hope you don't mind, like, but you were the last person he spoke to.'
'Yeah, no worries,’ said Annie warily, as she tried to work out what on earth was going on. ‘You're definitely using his phone so, tell me, how did get hold of it?' Something about this guy just didn't sound right. He was hesitant, as if politeness did not come naturally to him, and also stumbling over his words, almost as if he was being prompted by someone else. First red flag.
'Look, it's, em … a bit complicated, like, to explain everything right now. But, if it's definitely his phone, I can maybe get it back to him sometime today.' The caller was trying to sound like a Good Samaritan, reaching out to help a stranger. Aye right, thought Annie. Second red flag.
'That would be really great. So where can we meet up?' said Annie evenly, keeping up the pretence that she was