Read Autum's Lost (A letting go series) for Free Online Page A

had the argument in the garage, they heard about it. I have no idea how, small town talk I guess, but when I pulled in the driveway that night, they asked me to get my head clear and not to come back until I have apologized properly to you.”
    I sit back in my chair, so many questions to ask, so I started with the obvious one.
    “Were you drunk when you got to your parents that night?”
    “Yes, unfortunately I was. I had, what I can remember, a bottle of Jack in me.”
    I place my arms on the table and place my hands in front of my face as if I was praying. Maybe I was praying that I wouldn’t kill him, or maybe that I was thanking his parents for kicking him out. “Curt, why? Why would you drive drunk ? My God, that is what killed Autum! Do you think that thought wasn’t lost on your mom? She lost her only grandchild, do you think she wants to lose her only child as well?” I was keeping the yelling in check, but that was about it.
    “No, Addy, that was the last thing I was thinking.” He states with pain in his voice, “I just hurt, that’s all, every day, and all I see is Autum. Her smile, her laugh, and her beautiful blue eyes she got from you.” I look away from him and he continues. “I drove past the gym on Tuesday because that was the day she would have had basketball practice, I know she would have had tumbling yesterday so I drove past that building. I know today is Friday, which would have been her last game of the season, and I have to go back to work on Monday without the ‘sorry it’s Monday’ quote and kiss from her. There isn’t a minute of the day that I don’t think of our daughter.”
    Tears are now streaming down both of our cheeks and I have settled down my fight instinct. I go into t he bathroom and grab the tissue box. When I return Curt is standing against the island in the kitchen with his arms crossed. I slide the box over to him. He looks up at me again and then cast his eyes down to the ground.
    “I came here tonight Addy, to say I am sorry, sorry for the affairs, sorry for the d rinking. I have been a complete and utter fool in our marriage. And now that it’s over, I am lost, I have nothing. No matter what else I accomplish in life, I know I can never fix us. I could always fix Autum, no matter what was bothering her, a hug, a talk, ice cream; I was always able to help her.”
    I have been stunned into silence. Never in nineteen years has he ever admitted to the affairs let alone the drinking aspect of it. I always had an excuse for him when he was drinking. He was loud and arrogant, worse if it was whiskey. He came home one night after a bender of whiskey and smelled like another woman. I told him I hoped he would pass out in the shower so I wouldn’t have to clean the sheets and be reminded that he was whoring around.
    “Why, Curt, all the women, why wasn’t I ever enough for you?” I looked right at him, I wanted to know this, and I needed to know this.
    “I’m selfish, Addy, I had you in a pocket all for myself, and then along came Autum, and that pocket got bigger. I wanted someone just for myself, so I wouldn’t have to share. I thought, if I kept Autum and you safe and happy, I was allowed that. I made myself believe this, but it was never enough. When you found out about Lexus and I saw the pictures on our bed, I knew I was fucked, but I didn’t care. I told you what you wanted to hear.”
    I stared at the floor; my face was starting to turn red. I start to fight an internal war of words with myself. Addison, you asked him, and he is telling you. How can you get pissed? How can I get pissed? I wasn’t enough for him; I was never enough for him. Let him talk, he needs to get it out. No I’m done with this, he doesn’t deserve my tears. No, but what would Autum want you to do? God I hate you inner voice!!
    “Curt, I loved you from the moment we were a couple, you swept me off my feet. I lost a lot of friends when we started dating, but I stayed with you,