whole Rat Pack thing was totally overrated, so why on earth would she dance to it at her wedding, especially when she’s already married!
The dance floor is quickly filling up, but Gangly Limbs stands a full head taller than anyone else in the universe, so I still see him across the room. I stalk toward him, completely ignoring the couples I walk through on the way, until he and my mom are right in front of me. Mom’s in his arms, smiling up at him like he’s the dreamiest man alive.
Then someone in the room starts clinking a fork against their glass. I hear the
tap-tap-tapp
ing from somewhere behind me, and I freeze because I’ve been to a wedding before, and I know what that means. When the glass clinks, the bride and groom have to kiss.
“Hey!” I shout. “Who’s doing that? Cut it out!”
But it doesn’t stop. Soon the clinking sound rings out from everywhere. Mom and Giant Bobblehead tear their eyes away from one another to smile at the crowd; then he leans down and—
“Whoa!” I shout. “No! Cut it out! That’s my
mom
! Get off her!”
I try to swat Mr. Scruffy Face away from her, but my hand flies right through his body. I’m whacking at air, while he and my mom lip lock for just this side of an eternity. Finally they pull away from one another and smile at the room. Everyone applauds and awwws.
“Uh-uh,” I call to the room. “No aws. This is not an aw moment. You understand, people?”
Across the room, someone else clinks a glass.
“Are you kidding me?” I shout, wheeling in that direction. “They
just
kissed. Let the people breathe!”
The clinking continues.
“That’s it,” I say. “I’m confiscating silverware.”
I march to the closest table and stop short. Three seats are empty, but at the others are Reenzie, Carrie, J.J., Ames, some guy I don’t know, and…is that Jack? It looks like him, but a really hot version of him. He’s got to be around four inches taller than the Jack I know, and instead of baby fat and freckles he has cheekbones and manscaped facial scruff. He’s even wearing a tuxedo, and as far as I can tell there’s no Marvel character on it anywhere.
“You guys!” I cry. “It’s so good to see you! If you’re here, that means we’re all still friends in three years! You all look amazing! You especially, Jack. I mean, like, wow! And you!” I add, turning to the guy next to Jack. “I don’t even know you, but you look great too! Are you a friend of mine from college?”
He doesn’t answer, which I forgive since of course he can’t hear me. I actually seem to have arrived in the middle of some drama, because Reenzie looks furious enough to bite through a china plate.
“You had to know it was coming, Reenzie,” Jack says. “Weddings are hookup central.”
“I know,” Reenzie says. “But he’s supposed to be hooking up with
me.
He said we’d be here as a
couple.
And look—right in front of everyone! It’s embarrassing!”
She looks over her shoulder and I follow her gaze to the next table. The only people sitting there are Sean and some girl I’ve never seen before in my life. I don’t get a great look at her now either, since she and Sean are attached at the tongue.
Reenzie spins back around and rolls her eyes.
“Seriously?” I ask her. “Sean’s cheating on you right in your face? Ew!”
“Drink,” Ames suggests. She is wearing one of her skintight dresses, this one in bright purple. She’s seat dancing while balancing some kind of frothy cocktail that sloshes a little as she moves. “Open bar. It’ll make you feel better.”
She takes a giant swig of the cocktail, and I notice everyone else at the table exchange glances.
“What?” I ask. “What’s the deal? Isn’t it three years from now? She’s twenty-one. She can drink, right?”
Again I get no answer. Carrie puts her hand on top of Reenzie’s. “I say you forget Sean,” she says. “You don’t need him. You’re on different paths. You’re top of your