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and handed the blanket to Heather.
    “Thanks. I couldn’t sleep.” She softly smiled before wrapping the blanket around her slender shoulders and turning her gaze back toward the night sky.
    Somehow, Barth knew the beautiful witch would want to come out here and bask in the beauty of the night. As the full moon dipped behind passing clouds, the starry night sky was filled with so much wondrous beauty, it seemed almost ethereal.
    Almost.
    The moans and cries for brains coming from the forest below and the kingdom beyond resonated through the air and echoed through their cavernous sanctuary.
    A shiver snaked up Barth’s spine. “Yeah, neither could I.”
    Heather leaned over and patted his hand. “You worried about tomorrow?”
    “Uh, not really,” he lied. He tried to repress the image of the little flesh-eating corpses who’d slurped the brains out of that pretty pale-skinned woman. That was some seriously fucked-up shit.
    Though Barth had trained his entire life to slay beasties and monsters, nothing had prepared him for today, and nothing had prepared him for what he would face tomorrow.
    “It’s just so sad. So many good people.” Heather heaved a resonant sigh. She turned to him while batting her lashes. “If it wasn’t for you and Drag willing to help them, Barth, they’d probably all die.”
    Barth felt his heart slam against his ribcage. Again, not literally, it’s just that’s how it felt whenever he looked into Heather’s pretty eyes.
    Barth swallowed. “They still might die if I can’t get them to eat the spaghetti.”
    “But you’ve got to try to save them,” she pleaded as she inched closer to him and placed a delicate hand on his chest.
    Barth’s racing heart felt ready to explode at her touch. Of course, it really wasn’t going to explode, but you get the picture. “I-I w-will.” He stammered as he lost himself in her gaze.
    She chewed on her bottom lip while toying with the string on his vest. “Promise?”
    His mouth suddenly felt parched, as if all moisture had headed down south as fuel for his rapidly growing erection. “Cross my heart,” he rasped before backing away. The last thing he needed was to get a hard-on at a time like this, especially not over a witch.
    Barth had done a lot of serious thinking over the past few hours. There was no doubt that Heather was hot. She even seemed nice, especially for a witch. But the fact remained that she was a witch, just like Douchebagga. And though she was hot and sweet now, one day, when her tits sagged to her midsection, and she sprouted a few warts on her chin, not only would she be ugly, but she’d probably be evil, too.
    He couldn’t deny the massive crush he had for the pretty witch, but Barth didn’t know if his heart—or his balls—could handle the transformation.
    He squeezed his legs together and involuntarily cringed at the thought of him angering Heather one day and being on the receiving end of a ball-shrinking curse.
    He shook his head, trying desperately to clear all thoughts of shrunken testicles. “So you were friends with a lot of the townspeople?”
    A frown marred Heather’s pretty brow. “No, not really. Most everyone in Fairytale Kingdom hated my guts.”
    Barth felt a twinge of guilt at the look of pain in Heather’s glossy eyes. He knew exactly how it felt to be loathed and disrespected by everyone. He assumed she had a tougher time of it.
    “Well, you work for a pretty vile hag,” he said.
    “She was the only employer hiring,” Heather groaned. “I’d actually applied to work for the Good Witch of the North, but I didn’t have enough references.”
    Barth scrunched his brow. “You mean there’s good witches?”
    “Uh, yeah.” Heather glared at him. “Why? Do you think we’re all bad?”
    “Sorry.” Barth cowered back a few steps while shielding his balls. He hoped he wouldn’t piss her off too much. “You’ve all got a pretty nasty reputation.”
    Heather marched up to Barth and jabbed