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towel. “Wow!”
    As if it was possible, she protruded her chest even further. “Like ‘em? The wizard grew them for me, didn’t you, sugar?” She leaned over and kissed the wizard on the cheek, giggling while he turned ten shades of red. “What do you think?” she asked the trio.
    “They look fantastic,” Barth blurted with a little too much enthusiasm as Heather elbowed him in the ribs.
    Cindy Rella batted long lashes while toying with the edge of her towel. “You don’t think they look too big?”
    “Uh, no. Never.” Barth shook his head. This time Heather elbowed him harder. He stooped over, struggling for breath. “Well, maybe,” he squeaked.
    “I think what’s most important is if they feel natural,” Drag said through the window. “Come over here and let me feel them with my tongue.”
    Cindy cocked a hand on her hip. “You wanna touch, you gotta pay. Fifty for lap dances, five hundred for the night. I’m tired of scrubbing floors. Me and the girls are going to be dancing at The Gentleman’s Club from now on.” She turned on her heel and sashayed toward the stairwell. “Thanks for letting me shower at your place, Wizard, since I know the water everywhere else is probably poisoned with zombie juice.”
    The wizard’s gaze was lost on Cindy as he watched her sashay down the stairwell. Finally, he blinked hard while shuffling his feet, though it did little to conceal the bulge beneath his robe.
    He turned his focus back to Barth. “The king has all of the castle water imported from France. Did you know water sprites piss in Swans Lake?”
    “Yeah, I heard,” Barth said dryly.
    “Anyway, like I said, there’s one side-effect—balls and boobs seem to double in size, but it’s a lot better than being a zombie.”
    “So how are you going to get all the zombies in here to drink it?” Heather asked, her voice laced with irritation.
    “I don’t know how I can force zombies to drink it. I had to force the potion down Cindy Rella. Luckily, her step-mother had locked her in a tower until I arrived.”
    “What you need is a way to trick them into drinking the potion,” Barth suggested.
    The wizard scratched his beard. “Excellent idea, but how?”
    “Duh.” Drag rolled his eyes. “Mix the potion with some fake brains.”
    The wizard threw up his hands. “Where am I going to get brains?”
    “Zombies are stupid,” Drag said. “Just put out some spaghetti noodles. They won’t know the difference.”
    “Excellent idea.” The wizard pointed at Drag. “You know, you’re pretty smart for a dragon.”
    Drag arched a penciled brow. “And you’re pretty old and wrinkly for a wizard.”
    “Thanks.” The wizard beamed. He walked over to his giant eye monitor and flicked on a switch. “Updates are finished.” He pointed to several small surveillance orbs which were lit up on the screen. He clicked the mouse on a live video of chefs cooking in the royal kitchen. “Hey, chefs!” The wizard barked at the monitor.
    Many startled kitchen workers screamed and jumped, dropping plates of food in the process. The sound of breaking glass resonated through the speaker above the giant eye monitor.
    The wizard seemed oblivious to their scowls. “Tomorrow morning I need to make enough spaghetti to feed at least five thousand people.”
    The wizard turned off his monitor and faced Barth.
    “I need you back here tomorrow to distribute the spaghetti.”
    “Why tomorrow?” Barth asked.
    “I only have the one batch. I’ll need to make some more potion tonight.”
    Barth threw up his hands. “What do we do until then?”
    “Try not to get killed by a zombie.” The wizard turned his back to them and strapped on a lab coat and goggles. When he turned back, his white hair was standing on end. With his large pale eyes, peering out through those goggles, he looked more mad scientist than wizard. “Oh, and don’t drink the water.” He pointed an accusatory finger at Drag and Barth. “Remember Mexico?