All New Letters From a Nut

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Book: Read All New Letters From a Nut for Free Online
Authors: Alan. Marder Ted L. Nancy
problems.
    Respectfully,

    Full text of the above letter to follow.

    PLEASE EXCUSE OUR INFORMALITY .
    By using this note we are able to give you an immediate answer. We feel this is more important than sending a formal reply which could take several days.
    8/17/09
    Thank you for your interest in our mail order Catalog.
    We are sorry to report that we do not Carry the Electronic Throat Clearing machine. However, we still carry the Satin Sleep Caps.
    We have included order form and envelope for your convenience.
    Harriet Carter Gifts
Customer Service Dept.
425 Stump Road
North Wales. PA 19454

    Satin Sleep Cap
    Satin sleep cap keeps every hair in place, all night long, no matter how much you toss and turn! Jumbo cap fits over the fullest bouffant style, glides smoothly on the pillow, and stays in place with a non-binding elasticized band. Inner lining is made of breathable fabric for cool comfort. Washable poly/satin. Imported.

    Full text of the above letter to follow.

    1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201
    Customer Service
Harriet Carter Gifts,
425 Stump Road,
North Wales, PA. 19454.
    Aug 21, 2009
    Dear Harriet Carter Gifts,
    Thank you for writing me back regarding your Electronic Throat Clearing Machine and Satin Sleep Cap. It’s a wonderful item!
    Now I want to know if you have the ELECTRIC CHAIR. This is the chair that is designed to shock those peoples that need punishment. It is a wooden chair that you are strapped into. A wet spongy leather cap is placed on your head (after shaving your head & leg) Can i use the Satin Sleep Cap? Then the Harriet Carter volt lever is pulled & 2,000 volts go through the offender. Some mess may occur. Do you carry this item? And maybe an Electric End Table to go with it?
    Also do you have Toe Socks as others have told me?
    Harriet Carter is the finest co. out there for these kinds of items. I tell many about you and your dedication to helping your customers. At times I need to be addressed as F.D. Nancy. Sometimes Fred. But now F.D.
    Sincerely,

    (F.D. Nancy)

    Full text of the above letter to follow.

    Harriet Carter Gifts, Inc.
425 Stump Road
North Wales, PA 19454
215–361–5122
    08/27/2009
    MR F D NANCY
#193
1413 1/2 KENNETH RD
GLENDALE, CA 91201
    Dear MR F D NANCY,
    Thank you for your letter and inquiry.
    We do not carry the Electric Chair. But we do carry Toe Socks (please see enclosed picture).
    Thank you for your kind words about our company. It is a pleasure to serve you.
    Sincerely Yours,
HARRIET CARTER GIFTS

    B9842 - TOE SEP SOCKS
    6.98 a pair
    Catalog: 39 Page: 023
    Toe-separating socks keep your piggies apart, dry and healthy. Just slip on these soft, comfy open-toe socks for relief from a variety of toe and foot problems. They gently separate toes to help keep medicine in place, absorb moisture, prevent athlete’s foot, blisters and corns. Made of machine-washable cotton/spandex. One size fits most. One pair. Imported.

    Full text of the above letter to follow.

    1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201
    Customer Service
Harriet Carter Gifts,
425 Stump Road,
North Wales, PA. 19454.
    Sep 2, 2009
    Dear Harriet Carter Gifts,
    Thank you for answering me regarding the Electric Chair. I am sorry you do not carry it.
    Now. I was wondering if you carry the GAS CHAMBER. This is the compartment designed to gas those peoples that need punishment. Harriet Carter cyanide pellets are plopped into the compartment. The curtain is then opened allowing the witnesses to observe the punishee. A Harriet Carter lever is pulled and the poison gas is sucked in through the nostrils. Responses can include convulsions and excessive drooling. Do you carry this?
    Also do you have DOG VESTS?
    Harriet Carter is the best company i have ever heard of for customer service, customer dedication, and general customer (need another word here) I will note it in my folder.
    Respectfully,

    Full text of the above letter to follow.

    PLEASE EXCUSE OUR INFORMALITY .
    By using this note we are able to

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