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strong, she clutched her Walkman and the felt case tightly, as if they might be ripped from her grasp at any moment.
    Tucking her Walkman safely into her lap, Jen unzipped the black case round three sides and opened it to reveal several dozen CD wallets, some full to the brim, and others empty and unused.
    She began to slowly flick through the CD’s, just about able to make out the writing on them in the dark. Many of them were just blank discs that she and Clare had burned songs on to, and then in their haste scribbled a seemingly appropriate name on the front in black marker.
    Some were very worn and scratched and clearly well used, while others hadn’t been touched for some time; as seemed to be the case with many of Jen’s belongings nowadays.
    She paused for a moment.
     
    Summer 12
     
                  That was a while ago now, she thought to herself.
    She remembered making that one with Clare after they’d spent the week away with friends. Though, now she recalled one of the best weeks of her life, the memory seemed so long lost and faded, as if almost it didn’t even belong to her: as if it had happened in another lifetime altogether.
     
    Gym Songs
     
                  Now that one was a little more recent, but not much, if she was honest with herself.
    Although, she was never honest with herself anymore.
                  “Jennifer! Dinner!” She heard her mom’s voice call faintly from far below.
                  She sidled over to the open skylight, just nipping back over the top of the roof, and silently pushed it to. She didn’t close it entirely, but just enough to make it look like she and Clare had gone back out, when their mother inevitably came looking for them.
                  Besides, she wasn’t hungry.
                  She just wanted to be left alone.
                  But then, as she sat back down and flicked her CD case over again, the next disc had writing scrawled across it that left a pit in Jen’s stomach.
     
    From Clare xx
     
                  “You haven’t listened to that one for ages…” Clare commented dryly, speaking for the first time since they’d climbed out onto the rooftop.
    She sat directly beside her younger sister in just a T-shirt and a thin pair of black joggers, though she seemed not in the least bit bothered by the cold, and peered over Jen’s shoulder at the wallets of CD’s on her lap.
                  “I know…” Jen replied, sighing, her voice sobered considerably. “It used to be my favourite…”
                  “Why don’t you give it a go?” Clare suggested, her tone encouraging.
                  “No…” Jen replied quietly, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I can’t…” Though her words said one thing, clearly she wasn’t sure, and her eyes darted to her sister’s beautiful, stricken face.
                  “Why not?” Clare asked, her voice wavering, clearly hurt.
                  “I…I can’t…” Was all Jen managed, only able to repeat what she’d already said.
                  She quickly flicked over to the next wallet of discs, not even looking to see what it was, pulled it out, and immediately shoved it into her Walkman. She rammed her earphones into her ears and hit play, greeted in an instant by drowning drumbeats and lyrics that she knew all too well, but could not recall.
                  Clare said not another word, knowing when she wasn’t wanted.
                  She simply sat on the rooftop, huddled close beside her troubled sister, though, as much as she desperately wanted to, she didn’t put her arm around Jen.
                  It had been dark before, but after not too long it was nearly pitch black, for the stars and the moon were shrouded by the clouds; they were haunting ghosts floating above endlessly, pushed