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nothing was going to happen.
    He locked the front door and gestured toward the one behind the desk. “Let’s go into my office,” he said.
    “We’re alone?” she asked as she stepped inside.
    “Yes. Take off your coat and sit down. And relax, Sophie. Nothing’s going to happen. Nothing will ever happen that you don’t want to happen, understand?” he asked.
    She looked up at him and exhaled to a nervous smile. “Yes. Thank you. I’m sorry, I’m just so… I don’t know. I’m nervous, I guess.”
    “It’s understandable. How do you take your coffee?”
    “Black.”
    “Easy,” he said, pushing the button on the machine.
    She listened to the beans being ground and watched him place a cup to catch the stream of liquid. It was such a domestic, simple task. For some reason, she’d never imagined him doing something as normal as making coffee. There was that word again—normal.
    “Here you are.” He handed her a cup and made one for himself, then took his place behind his large, heavy wooden desk.
    She saw the office as if for the first time while sipping her coffee. It wasn’t large, but the furnishings were comfortable. The desk took up a good portion of it and across from it sat two chairs, one of which she occupied. One large window overlooked the street.
    “Tell me something,” he began, looking into his cup and taking a sip before setting it down, resting his forearms on the desk and looking at her. “Why did you lie about not having a BSN the first night?”
    Her expression went from polite to caught red-handed and she fumbled with her coffee for a moment before regaining hold of herself.
    “Let’s just be very straight with each other. I’m not asking to make you uncomfortable and I understand your fear. I just want to be clear going forward—I want you to understand that I’m not a stupid man and I won’t accept lies. I think I can help you figure this out, perhaps even help you find what you’re looking for, but let’s just lay our cards out, shall we?”
    Sophie stood. “I’m sorry, maybe I should go. I shouldn’t have come.”
    “Sit down,” he said, without moving an inch. “Now, Sophie. Sit down.”
    Her stomach felt heavy and her knees were already weak as she slid back down onto her seat.
    “Are you in a relationship? Truth—you get one chance to answer honestly.”
    “Yes,” she said.
    “Your partner is vanilla?”
    She nodded.
    “Are you sure?”
    That confused her. “Yes. I mean, he’s never… done anything or…”
    “Have you told him what you wanted?” Kyan asked.
    “No,” she answered.
    “Why not?”
    “Because I don’t want him to look at me like there’s something wrong with me. Like I’m a pervert,” she said outright. “I couldn’t take it if he was… disgusted by me.”
    “If you don’t trust him to accept you as you are, why are you in a relationship with him?”
    “It’s complicated, Kyan. It’s just… complicated.” She looked away for a moment, then turned back to him. “I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember and the one time I thought I could tell a boyfriend just a little bit about it, well, let’s just say it didn’t go well and I can still remember how embarrassed I was, how ashamed. I can’t do that again, I can’t go through that again.
    “I’m sorry I lied about my BSN and that I may have implied that I was available, or at least if I led you to believe I was. It wasn’t my intention. I just… this is something I can’t get out of my head. I thought if I tried it just once, maybe it wouldn’t be what I fantasized about at all. Maybe it would just go away.”
    “So let me make sure I’m understanding this. You’d like to experience this without your partner finding out in the hopes that you will discover it wasn’t what you wanted after all?”
    “Yes?” she more asked than answered. They both knew it wasn’t that simple.
    Kyan studied her for what seemed like hours, even though it couldn’t have