Read Accepted for Free Online

knew better. I’d done that before.
    Opening up to him wouldn’t make me or Colin feel better.
    I leaned back in my seat, away from him, letting my hands fall to the table. I shook my head, trying to clear it, and looked back up at him. He was looking down now.
    "What doesn’t feel like enough, Colin?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. "Why does it even matter?" I probably spoke a little too harshly, but I was frustrated. The mood had shifted; it wasn’t comfortable like before. I missed the comfort acutely. I wasn’t sure what to say or do next.
    Colin lifted his eyes to my face, stopping at my eyes, and just stared into them. I froze. Then he slowly shook his head slightly, his eyes never leaving mine, and whispered, "I don’t know. I haven’t figured that out yet, but I know it does."
    I stared back at him, still unsure of what to say. Then, I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and I closed it again. We just sat there, gazing at each other, both unable to speak.
    And at that moment, Amber and Randi decided to show up.
    ****
    The walk back to the residence hall was a little tense, as was the rest of lunch. I stayed seated at the table with Amber and Randi when Colin stood with his tray and asked if I’d like to walk back to the dorm with him. I knew there was a significant choice to be made at that moment, and I chose the girls.
    I hoped I’d chosen right.
    As soon as Colin vacated the table, Randi pounced.
    "So, you and Colin seem to have really hit it off." Her attempt at nonchalance was unsuccessful. "Every time any of us look up, the two of you are off giggling together in some corner."
    I knew no good would come from me insisting Randi explain who "us" referred to, nor would it do any good to point out that Colin and I were actually sitting in a crowded dining hall during peak lunch hours when she happened upon us. No, no good would come of it, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t wish I could react in kind.
    Unfortunately, I knew that I had to handle this particular situation tactfully. Worse, I had to bow to Randi.
    I’d already weighed the odds in my head, already compiled my pro/con list, and the sad truth was that being one of Randi’s followers was infinitely better for me than not belonging at all. There wasn’t anything worse than not belonging here.
    I'd only had a taste of this life, and I wasn’t willing to give it up yet.
    I thought carefully about the best way to curb Randi’s suspicions. I knew I would tell her the truth; I wasn’t imaginative enough to come up with any lies as to why Colin and I were together. Now, I just had to decide which version of the truth…what to keep in and what to take out. Obviously, I would explain that we had class together and that we were in the same major. However, I would not explain the ridiculous fantasies I had during said class or that I considered Colin my first real crush.
    "Yeah, I know, right. We have class together. It’s so nice to actually know someone in a class."
    Not a bad response…indifferent…pointed to school as our only connection, while admitting that I was happy to see him. Randi really couldn’t say anything negative. My work there was done.
    Or not.
    She huffed…orharrumphed…I couldn’t tell the difference. It wasn’t a very attractive sound. Jealously did not become Randi. And then, she proceeded to ignore me.
    From the moment I first saw her, I knew Randi was the key to being accepted. Amber could like me, everyone could, but Randi had to approve of me. Thankfully, I felt like I’d been holding my own with her. I had her pretty much figured out. She didn’t like feeling threatened, and so far, I’d been able to successfully mollify her when she did sense a threat.
    And I definitely posed a threat, at least in her eyes.
    I was her best friend’s roommate, one whom her best friend got along with fantastically. I’d quickly become friends with a guy she had a definitive interest in. Plus, the guy and I had