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got taken over
by ABN AMRO – a blessing in disguise as far as that
relationship was concerned.
    Prior to that, when I was 16 and working in the
dealing room at Westpac, I'd hooked up with one of
the traders there. I'd noticed him always looking at me.
Well, all the guys looked, but I knew he was interested,
because every time I was alone or at the copy machine
he would find an excuse to come over and talk to me. He
eventually asked me out and I said yes.
    Alcohol, as usual, played a part. On a drunken night
out, we found ourselves making out on the dance floor
in some bar and then went back to his place to fuck.
I dated him for a while but he wasn't really my type,
so I broke it off . It turned out that he really cared for
me, and I guess I broke his heart, which made it kind of
awkward to go to work.
    The other time was with one of my close coworkers
at CBA Futures. We worked on the same desk,
and he was about to leave to go to college in Canada
so we had a farewell dinner and drinks for him. We
ended up drinking a lot and getting intimate at the
table, followed by some dirty dancing and a trip back to
his place. I swear, this guy had the biggest cock I'd ever
seen – even bigger than most male porn stars I've been
with. (Yes, even bigger than Billy Glide!) I remember
that well: I was very sore the next day, because we'd
fucked all night. We remained friends after that but
haven't spoken for years.
    The odd thing, now that I think about it, is that almost
all the guys I fucked had really big cocks. Maybe I was
destined to be a porn star after all!

Chapter Three
LONDON
CALLING
    For my 21st birthday, my dad and stepmum gave
me the amazing present of a return ticket to
anywhere in the world I wanted to go. This was perfect
for me because the travel bug had really hit me, and it
forced me to save up the spending money and make
it happen.
    When I'd moved from Brisbane, all I'd wanted to
do was see my dad, pick up the shattered pieces of my
fractured family bonds and try to get a job so I could
support myself and start a new life. I'd achieved all that
now, and I'd had a great time in Sydney – mostly because
of all the good friends I'd made – but it was time for
a change.
    I was so excited about the opportunity to leave
Australia, and I saved up for a whole year to be able
to afford a full European tour. I was always looking up
the different trips I could take on the Contiki website.
There were so many options. In the end, I chose one of
those big Contiki bus tours that went to 12 countries in
37 days, starting and ending in London.
    Arriving in London sure brought me back down to
earth fast. When I got off the train from Heathrow, it
was pouring with rain. I was carrying a huge backpack
and had no idea where I was going. I remember that
everyone was so rude. One guy was walking fast and got
mad at me for walking slowly with my luggage. I was
completely jet-lagged too, because I couldn't sleep at all
on my 24-hour flight from Sydney.
    It didn't take me too long to bounce back, though, and
I set off for my European adventures in the esteemed
company of 50 fellow Aussies, four Kiwis and two South
Africans.
    I cut down on my drinking during the tour, mostly
because I really wanted to see Europe rather than merely
partying my way through it. I didn't make many friends
in that time as a result, but I saw a lot and actually
remembered it all. I pretty much sampled every kind of
food and alcoholic beverage there was (well, my newfound
sobriety permitting) and kept an account of the
trip in my journals. I wish I'd taken more photos. I shot
mostly video and my camera died halfway through the
trip, so most of what happened stayed firmly lodged in
my own memories.
    At first, I was treating these travels as no more than a
great vacation, but somewhere on the trip I thought to
myself, 'Well, what if I just work in London for a couple
of years while I'm there? I could save some money and
see where it takes me.' My Welsh roots made it an