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matter to God. It wasn’t so much the trousers themselves as the love that went into them. All those times Mamm washed ’em and fed ’em through the wringer …
    That was a lot of love.
    And it helped to think of the love instead of the terrible thing that had happened to Mamm and Dat. Just thinking about it brought night to his insides.
    So what if his Sunday pants were snug?
    Ruthie had told him he was
verhuddelt
, that Mamm and Dat were in heaven with God and it was a sin to pretend any other way. “When God calls someone to heaven, they go,” she’d told him, her amber eyes stern as Mammi Nell’s.
    Maybe Ruthie was right. He ought to tell Mary he needed a new pair of Sunday pants. One of these days.
    “Whoa, there,” Adam called from the front, and the carriage rolled to a stop. “Let’s lighten Thunder’s load on this last hill. Who’s going to walk?”
    Before Adam finished the question, Simon’s brothers and sisters were disembarking from the seats in front of him. Jonah and Gabriel were the first ones out. They turned to help the girls disembark.
    No, don’t get out. It’s not safe to stop.…
    Simon felt frozen with panic as he watched the girls drop down to the road … Leah, Susie, and Sadie. Mary’s hands went up to check her dark bonnet as Ruthie called to Simon.
    “What are you waiting for?” She stood, hands on her hips, at the far end of the rear seat. “It’s time to walk.”
    “I’m going to stay in the carriage,” he muttered.
    “Oh, Simon, you do this every time.” Ruthie glared at him, looking stern for her eleven years as she climbed down from the carriage.
    His eyes darted to Katie and Sam, who sat like little dolls bundled next to Mammi. “I’ll help with the little ones.”
    “I can manage,” Mammi insisted. “Go on now, Simon.”
    Stay here
, his mother’s voice entreated.
You’ll be safe in the buggy
.
    “But I can help,” Simon pleaded. “I’ll help Adam unhitch the horses.”
    “Your brother wants you to walk.” Mammi’s brows lifted in disapproval. “It’s too much for the horse to take all of us.”
    Just then Jonah poked his head into the backseat of the carriage. “What’s the holdup here?”
    Mammi said with gentle reproof, “ ’Tis Simon, wanting to ride with the little ones again.”
    “Kumm.” With pursed lips, Jonah reached in and lifted Simon to the ground. He signaled to Adam, and the carriage rolled off.
    Crestfallen, Simon buried his face in his hands and sucked the insides of his cheeks, trying to keep from crying at the injustice of it all. Mamm had told him to stay with the buggy. She had promised to hide him there, and he’d stayed safe.
    But no one else understood that.
    They listened, but they didn’t understand.
    They didn’t know what bears could do.
    “Simon? Are you sick?” Jonah’s voice was gentle.
    Through the slits in his fingers Simon saw another carriage roll to a stop to discharge passengers.
    No bears. Just the Zook family.
    Sniffing back tears, Simon stepped into Jonah’s shadow. “If Eli Zook sees me crying, he’ll tell everyone and all the boys will think I’m a baby.”
    “We can’t have that.” Jonah produced a handkerchief, and Simon quickly wiped his eyes. “There you go. Want to join the boys?”
    With a deep breath of resolve, Simon gave back the handkerchief. “Let’s just start walking. I’ll be happy if they stay ahead of us.” They were really not friends to Simon, but since they were his age, people expected Simon to spend time with them.
    Jonah touched Simon on the shoulder, and they headed up the hill. It was getting close to the time when the service would be starting, and now plenty of Amish people climbed the hill. If Simon squinted they were rectangles of dark color, blue or purple or green. He felt foolish for thinking they were bears before. How could he think that of Marian Yoder or Abe Zook or the Lapp family?
    Up ahead, he noticed Eli and John Zook waiting along the road,