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said he saw this picture in the window of this picture
gallery, and blowed if it wasn't the living image of his third
wife, the one he was carrying the torch for. And when he told
me he was going to buy it because he had to have it just to
remind him of her, no matter what it cost, I naturally said to
myself "What ho!".'
    'Why did you say that to yourself?'
    'Because I saw that this was where I could make a bit. Ten
minutes later I was round at the gallery buying the thing,
confident that I would be able to sell it to him for double the
price I'd paid, which, let me tell you, was stiff. It's a crime what
these galleries charge you. Still, I'll get it all back and more.'
    'You look on it as an investment?'
    'Exactly. The profit should be substantial. So don't let me
hear any more of that talk of mugs walking into shops. Care to
see the ruddy object? I've got it in this parcel. On second
thoughts, no,' said the Duke, changing his mind. 'Too much
trouble untying the string and doing it up again, and I'm
feeling drowsy. Couldn't get a wink of sleep last night,
pondering over that niece of mine. Giggling she was and all
starry-eyed. I didn't like the look of her.'
2
    Train journeys never bored Gally unless they involved
extended conversations with an uncongenial companion, and
he found the time pass very pleasantly with his thoughts.
Nevertheless he was glad when he was able to wake the Duke,
who had fallen into another coma after lunch, and inform him
that in five minutes they would be arriving at Market
Blandings.
    The first person he saw on the platform was his brother
Clarence, the second his sister Constance. Her welcoming
smile as the Duke alighted vanished from her face as if wiped
off with a squeegee when she observed what was coming out
of the train behind him. Her attitude towards Gally had always
been austere. No matter how great his popularity in the circles
in which he moved, to her, as to her sisters, he was a blot on
the escutcheon of a proud family and something one preferred
to hush up and try to forget. For years she had been haunted
by the fear that he was going to write his Reminiscences, and
though this threat had blown over, she still had a tendency to
shudder when she saw him. She disliked his presence, his
conversation and his monocle. She sometimes thought that
she could almost have endured him if he had not worn an
eyeglass.
    A certain chill, accordingly, marked this little gathering on
the platform of Market Blandings station, and it was a relief to
Lord Emsworth, who was in momentary fear lest his responsibility
for Gally's arrival might be revealed, when the Duke
went off with her to see about his luggage, which on these
visits was always considerable.
    'It was very good of you to come so promptly, Galahad,' he
said. 'I was afraid you might have other engagements.'
    'My dear Clarence! As if any engagement, however other,
could keep me from answering a cry for succour like yours. You
were very wise to send for me. It must have shaken even a
strong man like you when Connie suddenly popped up out of
a trap like the Demon King in a pantomime.'
    'It did indeed.'
    'And the shock of hearing that Dunstable was coming must
have been almost worse. Still we ought, standing shoulder to
shoulder, to be able to cope with Dunstable. It only needs a
firm hand. What about this friend of Connie's?'
    'Oh, she is charming. I like her very much.'
    'Well, that's something.'
    'Very sound on pigs. Nothing she actually said, but I could
see that she had the right attitude when I was telling her about
the Empress's feeding schedule.'
    'What's her name?'
    'I've forgotten.'
    'Well, no doubt I shall find out in God's good time. You
said something about some fellow young Freddie had sent to
you with a letter of introduction. What's his name?'
    'I can't remember.'
    'No need for you to join the Foreign Legion, where men go
to forget, Clarence. You can do it comfortably without stirring
a step from Blandings Castle. What's he like?