Read A Heart Once Broken for Free Online

want. And put the bag in the back of the open buggy,” Daett had added. “The front is a little small and you could tear the bag.”
    Rosemary hadn’t said anything. The implications were clear. Daett figured she would carry the fertilizer out to the buggy by herself—a large bag, from the sound of it. She could ask for help at the front counter if help wasn’t readily available from one of the Amish men. She’d prefer aid from someone familiar to her, though, unlessone of those men was Clyde Helmuth. She was still touchy about Clyde since the man had rejected her. It wasn’t right to feel this way, but she couldn’t help herself. Clyde’s words had cut deep. “You and your family have the ways of the world in your hearts, Rosemary. Some people just do, and you are one of them. So good night. I won’t be seeing you again.” She could still hear him saying the words at their front door.
    What Clyde had meant wasn’t difficult to figure out, even if the accusation was false. Yah , her Daett had once entertained plans to join a more liberal Amish church in the old community at Holmes County. They had attended the services a few times until Daett had reconsidered and repented. But that had happened years ago when she was a small girl. Everyone in the old community had forgotten, but not Clyde and his family. They remembered, and now Clyde had moved here with his daett . Few things were feared in the North Country like people who had liberal leanings. That was the reason the community in St. Lawrence County had been founded in the first place—to get away from such temptations. No one would appreciate community members who brought such liberal notions with them.
    Would Clyde drop words to the others about her family’s past? Some of the community people might already know, but if they did, no one had mentioned anything. Or they thought Daett had sufficiently repented. Lydia and her cousin Sandra had always been friendly toward Rosemary and went out of their way to make her feel welcome. She was accepted as part of the community and needed nothing to stir up old affairs. Help from an Englisha man with a fertilizer bag was innocent enough. Most of the community would understand that, but she wasn’t about to take the chance. If there were no Amish men inside the feed store, she would carry the bag by herself all the way across the parking lot. Let the Englisha people think what they wished.
    Rosemary gave Buster a pat on his neck and checked the tie rope again. “I’ll be right back,” she told the horse.
    Buster whinnied as if he understood. She wanted nothing of the Englisha world, regardless of what thoughts Daett might have had in the past. And, besides, Daett no longer had such thoughts, she was sure. Why would Daett have moved all the way to St. Lawrence County in upstate New York if he hadn’t wanted a fresh start away from old temptations? Clyde had no right to trouble her here, and hopefully he wouldn’t.
    Rosemary looked more closely at the two buggies. One was Bishop Henry’s buggy. He was older, and if the bishop was inside, she wouldn’t ask him for help. Bishop Henry had grown feeble in his old age, which he more than made up for in spiritual strength. The other buggy belonged to Ezra Wagler. She was certain of it now that she looked closer, and surely Ezra would come to her aid. He was polite enough at the youth gatherings, even when he gave most of his attentions to one of the Troyer cousins.
    She needed a husband, Rosemary reminded herself, as she lingered near Buster and gathered her courage for the walk to the feed mill’s front door. But she hadn’t dared to show any interest in a man since Clyde. Nor had any unmarried man paid her more than a passing glance—which was likely her own fault. She didn’t give off friendly vibes when it came to men, but it was just the way she was. She couldn’t make