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collar is growing tight.’
    â€˜Damned new tailor,’ said Bertram, running a finger round the edge.
    â€˜Och, yer cannae blame that on the poor man. He cannae work against nature.’ Rory had become alarmingly Scottish again. I wondered if this meant we were nearing the border.
    â€˜I am merely concerned for your well-being. I understand that excess weight can put an extra burden on the heart.’
    â€˜I think we have spoken quite too much about my heart during this trip,’ said Bertram from behind gritted teeth. ‘If there is anyone’s offending organ we should be discussing it is Richard’s.’
    The vehicle swerved suddenly, but after a heart stopping moment, Rory reclaimed control. ‘Whet are ye on about, man?’ he asked in horrified tones.
    â€˜His heart,’ snapped Bertram. This time his whole face suffused with blood. ‘I am talking about his heart!’
    â€˜I was not aware he had one,’ I said.
    â€˜Well, Miss Lucinda Hessleton would not agree with you.’
    â€˜Who?’ asked Rory and I in unison.
    Bertram’s face registered surprise. ‘Why, his fiancée of course. I assume she thinks he has one.’
    â€˜Richard’s getting married?’ repeated Rory and I together, sounding like a pair of bad vaudeville comedians.
    â€˜Of course. What did you think this party was all about?’ asked Bertram. ‘Personally, I wouldn’t be surprised if they tie the knot while we’re there. You can do so more quickly in Scotland, I believe.’
    â€˜But why?’ I asked, struggling to come to terms with the concept of any sane woman agreeing to marry Richard.
    Rory, his eyes still fixed on the road and his tone flat, said, ‘I expect it’s to do with his organ.’
    Â 
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    6 See my journal A Death in the Wedding Party .
    7 I thought perhaps the grimness might be ascribed to the ever-sinking estate Bertram owned. Living in the Fens, I had found from my time there, was both beautiful and an extremely trying position. In some ways, Bertram was the least of my worries and that was saying something indeed.

Chapter Six
Lovely Lucinda
    We had to stop the automobile so Bertram could take some air. Fortunately, we were in a rural spot and it was easy enough to pull over and find somewhere secluded. I asked Rory to unload the hamper and set about arranging an early luncheon. I hoped that food would prove a distraction to Bertram, as I carefully placed an elegant plate the cook had provided. It is a mystery to me why cooks insist on providing delicate crockery for outdoor eating, especially when it is a man who has requested the hamper. Surely, anyone who has ever known a man knows he would be perfectly happy ripping into chicken legs with his teeth and eating his meal off the grass? Though perhaps she had included the plates for me. In which case we would have only needed one, not this vast array of things that even included a teapot and tea strainer. I hid these under the cloth. It was unrealistic to think they could possibly survive an encounter with both Bertram and the outdoors.
    â€˜Are you suggesting she is pregnant?’ asked Bertram.
    â€˜I never said a word!’ I said, startled. ‘Good grief, Bertram, how on earth did you guess?’
    Bertram nodded past me. I turned to see Rory standing behind me. ‘I was talking to him.’
    â€˜Is that what you got yourself so het up about?’ asked Rory. ‘That I was impugning the honour of your half-brother’s bride to be?’
    â€˜Yes. No,’ spluttered Bertram. ‘Euphemia!’
    â€˜Ach, you mean I shouldnae have said such a thing in front of her?’ Rory shuffled himself to a seated position. ‘Aye, well, maybe you’re right. I wasnae suggesting what you thought. Rather that yon mannie would be keen to bed his bride.’
    â€˜McLeod!’ exploded Bertram. I offered him a sandwich. He took it without