rippled through me. I had guarded my heart, afraid of this, but the realization still reached into my chest and squeezed. I couldn't breathe.
Jame's jaw dropped and his eye bugged out. He turned a little pale and it looked like I really took him by surprise, almost as much as the first time I had ever told him that I wanted him. “What? No! Let me finish.”
I crossed my arms and waited. “Talk.”
“Yes, we had sex that night. Yes, we had sex again a few more times. But I always wear a condom.” He looked at me, then rolled his eyes. “Always used to wear a condom, whatever.”
I was too upset to laugh at that.
“Last April I invited her to a concert, a lot like the one that you just watched. She had a great time, but again I had to schmooze potential clients at the after party. She got way too drunk and, by the time I realized she was talking to Ryan, he had already left with her to go back to his place.”
I thought about the motorcycle ride he had offered me and shuddered.
“I drove over there, hoping to keep them apart, but they had already fucked. Ryan says she was all about it, but she seemed kind of distant. She told me that she didn't want to see me anymore. A couple months later, she called me and asked how to get in touch with Ryan.”
The ache behind my breastbone wasn't quite as painful anymore. The child wasn't his. I spoke up. “And you've been covering for him ever since.” It came out harsher than I expected.
“It's not that simple, Allie. Ryan wants to be a rock star more than anything in the world. A kid would make that pretty much impossible, especially one with someone that he wanted nothing to do with.”
“So now she's saddled with some kid-”
He cut me off. “Allie, I know you don't believe that a baby ruins your life.” His tone was harsh.
“No, of course not,” I said softly. Babies were the best thing in the world, and I couldn't wait to have one, especially one with James. “But the baby deserves to be taken care of.”
“I agree completely. Do you think that dickwad Ryan would be able to take care of a baby anywhere near as well as I can take of one? Even if he does become a famous rock star, he'll never make as much money as me. Trust me when I say that baby is going to have a silver spoon in its mouth.”
Every word he said made me melt a little more. I could feel a river of arousal flowing within me as he talked about caring for an infant. He was everything I had thought he was and more.
He kept talking, almost to himself now. “Audrey will be able to find a real husband, while Ryan will probably end up as a trucker or a night manager at Walmart or-”
“Shut up and kiss me,” I commanded. I needed him, especially now. I leaned up and put my hand behind his neck, pulling him in.
He kissed me back, then pulled away. “And furthermore-”
I didn't let him even start. I just kept kissing him. I couldn't get over what he had just said. He was caring for a child that wasn't his because it was the right thing to do. Even though he could be a total ass, he was a good man.
We started to walk toward the bedroom. I didn't feel like I was at my freshest, when an idea struck me. “I was promised a shower.”
He smiled. “I did promise a shower.”
We changed course, shuffling toward the master bathroom as we kept kissing. It was hard not to giggle, but I was too excited by his kisses to think of how silly we must have looked. He reached past me and opened the door to his shower.
I loved this shower. It was big and luxurious, even if he kept it a bit spartan.
He backed away from me and started to unbutton his shirt. “What, you're not going to tear it off this time?” I asked.
He tore the last little bit off, the buttons skittering across the tile floor. “Happy now?”
“Well, there is one more thing.” I spied his shaving cream on the sink and picked it up. Quickly, I sprayed a big circle on his mirror with it, then put a smiley face inside it. “Now,