my
arms. Each breath I take causes me to wince from the pain and all I
can see is darkness, and it seems so calming.
Cold leather pressed against my skin is
beneath me now. I don’t know for sure where I am. Still barely able
to move, I can tell I am about to lose consciousness again. The
seat shifts to the left of me and then to the right all around my
body. I feel heaviness over me almost like darkness is hanging over
me and pressing down on my chest. I attempt to breathe when I catch
a whiff of his cologne. I can pick out the lemon and lavender mixed
with citrus. I know this smell, but where do I know this smell? The
touch of a hand on my thigh pulls me back to the present. A hand is
running up and down my thigh and curving over to my hip. “Mmmmm do
you know how fucking hot you are?” Broke the silence. His voice
deep and one I don’t recognize. “I watched you all night, bending
over that table with your ass in the air teasing me. You knew what
you were doing. You knew you were making me hard.” His voice full
of lust and demand. I attempted to speak but his hand quickly
covered my mouth. Unable to open my eyes, I was still helpless,
hopeless, defenseless. His free hand traveled up my left arm and
back down across my t-shirt. Somehow I lost my jacket. It just
registered with me how cold I was. I’m not sure if it’s from the
weather or from the chills I am getting from the groping going on.
His hand rests on the button to my jeans and the bottom of my
t-shirt. I can feel him playing with the button but not trying hard
to unbutton it. Wish I was wearing button fly
jeans right now . “You don’t have to worry sweetheart, I
am going to make you feel so good.” Hearing these words increased
the panic. I attempted to scream but his hand still covered my
mouth and was clenching down so hard I could feel his fingers
digging into the skin of my cheeks. I could tell he was gritting
his teeth as I heard his breath passing his lips with force. As his
hand slides down the top of my jeans and pry’s its way between my
legs, my thoughts drift.
I can see Adam when we were 15. Sitting on the swing
set in the park behind my house on base. Both hands holding on to
the swing as his head is bowed. His dark blond hair is falling in
his eyes as he tilts his head toward me just past the chains of the
swing and just smiles. All I can see is his smile, his sweet,
innocent and full of joy smile, but now he is starting to fade, and
I can barely make out him sitting on the swing. I’m being pulled
back to the present.
The pain is immense and I can’t move. My chest is
tight. I’m trying to cry but nothing is coming out and I’m having
trouble breathing. The seat shifts below me and I can hear a second
voice a bit muffled but not sure why. I’m trying to move away, to
find a way to move up the seat toward the door that I can’t see but
know has to be there.
The end of the bench gives away a bit as he
climbs off me but only for a second because it seems he is climbing
back in. Dear Jesus, I’m so scared. Please help
me. I pray to myself as I notice the cologne is
different as he climbs closer. “Oh Yeah, My turn” NO! Noooo No No! Please God
No! Is the only thought I have before it all goes
black.
Chapter 4
A aaggghh , I thought to myself, God I hurt . I was trying so hard to get a bearing
on where I was, but everything was blurry and out of focus. All I
could feel was pain and heaviness.
In an attempt to sit up, I slowly moved my
arm away from my body to grab the wall for balance. Sudden,
excruciating jolts of pain shot up my right arm. “AAAAAAAHHHH,” I
cried out, with no one to hear me.
In the distance I could hear scuffling and
pounding that reminded me of heavy bags of cement being thrown to
the ground. I could hear murmurs of people talking, maybe more
begging than talking. What’s going
on? I thought to myself.
Still trying to gain awareness of my
location, I shifted the best I could to try and sit up, trying