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are claiming an inside job (a local biker crew with a reputation for gun-slinging and drug-trafficking was working security at the fair) but we think it’s all a cover-up for aliens in our midst.
    And THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS ALL ABOUT
    THEM!!!!!
    There are hardly any eyewitnesses, despite the fact several thousand people were at the show when it occurred, but we managed to get an exclusive interview with someone who watched it all go down:
    ‘I was coming out of the bathroom and I saw them. There were four of them. Three guys and a girl. And they had a dog with them too. Probably wasn’t a dog at all. Was probably some kind of body-snatcher. The girl had red hair and I’d bet my grandma’s teeth she was an alien too. She had this look about her, you know? And she was wearing sunglasses, like you know, probably because she could melt your brain if she looked at you direct…’
    We think supernatural powers must be the reason. How else could four people walk off with that much hardware without anyone noticing?
    The local biker crew who were providing security at the event are claiming foul play, and the cops are investigating a rival gang from Oxnard, but it doesn’t sound like gangland robbery to us… more like Pleidian visitors from another galaxy.
    Our witness also claims that a fight broke out later that night when the biker crew discovered their bikes had been covered in My Little Pony stickers.
    Aliens with a sense of humour?
    Let’s hope so. Because I’m not sure I want to know what they want all that firepower for.

    ***
@CNN
    San Quentin Prison Breakout leaves investigators puzzled.
    The following are excerpts from confidential files, stolen from the laptop of an employee of Stirling Enterprises, a private defense company commissioned by the United States Government to investigate the San Quentin Prison breakout.
    From security footage we have established that four people led the raid on San Quentin Prison which facilitated the escape of the convicted felon Harvey James. James, 32, who had been sentenced to life without parole, was being held in the maximum security unit at the time.
    … unclear how they bypassed security checks.
    not a single guard interviewed could recall details of the raid…
    ‘and they just walked on in and took him from the cell. Just like that. The guard let them in but he didn’t seem to know what he was doing, like he’d been brainwashed or something. Harvey seemed to be expecting them. He got up and patted the guy on the back and they hugged, like they were old timers. Then they just walked out of here. I asked them if I could come too but next thing I know I’m lying on my bed dreamin’…’
    ‘I didn’t wee nothing, only caught a glimpse of her as they were leaving, but I can tell you one thing, she had red hair.
    Get me a lawyer and maybe I’ll remember more about what she looked like.’
    All four were armed and are considered highly dangerous.
    FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED NEXT TO AMBER
    AND RYDER IN HUNTING LILA.

Chapter 9
LA Times
    VENTURA --- Police responded to a bank robbery at Bank of America on Main Street yesterday afternoon after four masked robbers made off with close to three million dollars in bills and bonds, as well as the contents of dozens of security deposit boxes.
    Mystery surrounds the robbery, which took place in broad daylight. None of the fifteen bank employees and customers present can recall any details about the crime, leading to mounting speculation about how the robbers managed to pull off the heist.
    A source close to the investigation, who asked not to be named, said: ‘No one can remember anything about the robbery. If we didn’t have the CCTV footage you’d think the place was robbed by ghosts.’
    The security guard on duty at the time said in a statement that he experienced a sense of overwhelming euphoria just prior to the incident. When police arrived on the scene they found him in a state of hysteria. He was admitted to the local