Read Zorgamazoo for Free Online

Katrina was terribly bushed;
she couldn’t go on, even if she were pushed.
She needed a dwelling for resting her head,
a comfortable place she could set for a bed.
    After some searching, she spotted a room,
that wasn’t too buried in rubbish and gloom.
She lay on the floor, on a pillow of stone,
feeling wretched, dejected, completely alone.
    Â 
    But just as she readied herself for a doze,
just as her eyes were beginning to close,
just as she started to slumber and snooze,
she was jolted awake by the thrumping of shoes!
    Â 
    â€œWell, well!” came a voice like the squeal of a saw.
“It looks like some joker has broken the law!
Perhaps not a certified law of the land,
but for sure—it’s the only law we understand.
    Â 
    â€œNow what sorta law am I talking about?
The law that says:

    The girl was in gumboots as tall as a chair.
She had daggers and knives pinned up in her hair.
Her name on the street was
“Selena the Slash,”
and she’d cut off your pants to pilfer your cash!
    Â 
    Â 

To her left was an impish and rascally scamp,
dressed in the rags of a traveling tramp.
His nickname was “Sickly” or
    Â 

“SICKLY VAN PUKE”
and his nose always trickled with gobbledygook.
    Â 
    The last was a ruffian lofty and tall,
as strong as an ox and as wide as a wall,
with a look on his face, so purple and mean—
like a face you might make in a stinky latrine.
    Katrina concluded with only a look this last was none other than BUGSY McCROOK! (Now the Gang of McCrook was a miserable mob, for whom robbing you blind was an everyday job.
    Â 
    They were known for their violence and criminal feats,
for a seedy selection of sinful deceits—
from robbery, arson, and pyramid schemes,
to snatching the mascots from basketball teams.
    Â 
    They had once robbed a pet shop of all of its cash,
and they never— not ever —recycled their trash!)
    Â 
    â€œI know who you are,” Katrina exclaimed.
“You’re BUGSY McCROOK, and you should be ashamed!”
    â€œAt your service,” said BUGSY. He bent in a bow.
“I wonder, my dear, what shall we do now?”
    Â 
    Â 
    â€œI know!” said the girl in the cumbersome boots,
“Let’s force-feed her full of some festering fruits!
    We can sting her with bees as much as we please!
We can scrape up her knees with a grater of cheese!
We can jab her with sticks, and if she survives,
That’s fine! Then we’ll stick her with one of my knives!”
    Sickly agreed with insidious glee.
“You’re a genius, Selena, that’s easy to see!
She must’ve been blind, ignoring our sign!
We’ll force her to whinny and whimper and whine!”
    Â 
    â€œWait!” said Katrina. “Hold on for a sec.
Before you go crazy, start wringing my neck,
before you begin to dissever and maim,
hold on—at least let me tell you my name.”
    Â 
    â€œAlright,” BUGSY sneered, “but get on with it, see.
Then you’ll get your shellacking,
and you’ll get it from me!”
Katrina raised up her adorable head.
She smiled like an angel, and here’s what she said:
    â€œThey call me Katrina,

and I hope you all fall down a bottomless well.”
    Â 
    Then, like a cat, she sprung to her feet.
She spun on her heels, to beat a retreat.
    Â 
    As she scuttled away, she was granted a chance
to give Sickly a kick in the seat of his pants.
    Â 
    Selena she tripped with a flick of her foot
which made her go sprawling in rubble and soot.
    Â 
    But then, at the steps, before her escape,
she was captured by someone as strong as an ape!
    Â 
    It was BUGSY McCROOK! He was already there!
He hoisted her up by a handful of hair!
    Katrina looked back at her turbulent wake:
Selena lay sprawled like a slumbering snake.
Her boots were askew and her hair was a mess.
There were tatters and tears in her leathery dress.
    Â 
    Sickly, meanwhile, was especially glum.
He was sulking and