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the street. As I got nearer he seemed to recognise me and started to undo his trousers and lift up his shirt. I wondered what on earth was going on and as I got closer I realised it was Richard. He said, ‘Look, my stomach is flat now, look how much weight I have lost, look at that’, and he patted his very flat stomach with absolute pride while walking right up to me so I could admire it too. He told me he had shed three stone. He was beaming. I told him I was thrilled for him but it might not be the best thing to start undoing his flies in the street as a woman approached him. We both laughed and his happiness was infectious.

STEP THREE
    Choose to Be Thinner
    This probably sounds ridiculous to you, but you can choose to be thin by choosing to think and behave differently around food, by choosing to believe different things about food and about your relationship with it.
    Choosing to do the right thing is very good for humans as it makes us move towards our goals. Humans are all built as goal-seeking creatures. With goals we have purpose and direction, without them we drift and flounder. Having a goal, taking steps towards its accomplishment and seeing it through to its end makes us feel good about ourselves. Achievement makes us feel satisfied, more self confident and self motivated, more like winners. Having some self control is very liberating. In our Western lives, eating at random anything and everything is not always a freedom; it can imprison us. The unfair reality about being overweight is that overweight people show the world their weakness. They are no weaker than someone who has an addiction to shopping, pain killers, cigarettes, drugs, porn or internet sex, but other addictions can be hidden, disguised or laughed off. Confessing to work colleagues ‘I was so fed up I went crazy and overspent on my credit card or drank too much’ will illicit murmurs of sympathy, understanding or even humour. However, saying ‘I was so down I ate four cakes, two sandwiches and then loads of chocolate until I could hardly move’, or saying, ‘I ate until I felt sick’, can produce revulsion in others.
    Because overweight people wear their weakness and we all see it, because they cannot hide it or disguise it, we judge them as weak, as gluttons, as having no control. It is very unfair and cruel but we are an outwardly visual (a lookist) society. We forgive celebrities for being drunk, we even seem to forgive them for using drugs, but we don’t seem to forgive them for being fat, and they know it. Paris Hilton’s career was enhanced when a film of her having sex was released but it would no doubt end if she became very overweight. Celebrity magazines make a point of highlighting celebrities who have gained weight and mocking them. The message they send is that being overweight is something to be ashamed of but other failings are more acceptable. We are scared of weak people because we are all scared of our own weaknesses and scared of being identified as being like them, so it follows that most people who are critical of fat people are scared of becoming that way themselves.
    Fortunately, by making the right choices and using your power of choice you can succeed fully in beating being overweight, reaching your ideal weight and maintaining it. The minute you say ‘I can’t eat that’, ‘I mustn’t have it’, ‘I am not allowed it’, or ‘I should not eat it’ you are likely to want it even more as you are trying to deny a desire. Replacing the ‘I can’t’ with ‘I am choosing not to eat that’ makes an assertion to your mind that you have a choice and are making the right choice willingly. This means you are not using willpower to fight desire, which is usually unsuccessful, but you are using a stronger desire and you will succeed.
    In the same way you can say ‘I am choosing to eat fruit’, or ‘I am choosing to leave food on my plate’ instead of saying ‘I can’t eat what I want so I’ll have to